Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Welcome, Heartless Heathers, Heathers fans, and Roller Derby affiliates

This is the blog of the Heartless Heathers, that most fearsome team from Portland's Rose City Rollers derby league. Let us now praise them to the skies.

One short month from now, The Heartless Heathers will skate to reclaim the Rose City Rollers Championship, and they aim to put that winning streak of the Break Neck Betties onto the autopsy table for a perfunctory examination and a swift goodbye.

Heathers Co-captain Isabell Ringer recently had this to say about her team's prospects at the upcoming championship bout: "We are going to KICK ASS AUG 9TH!!! The team is looking great, doing great and having fun together! Noz is now our coach (Noz: Um... that's "Kick Ass Coach", ma'am. Anyone that can get Vominatrix to vomit at practice deserves the "Kick Ass" in front of their title.), it's been awesome, having him help lead practice allows the leaders of the team to be able to skate rather than run drills."

Ringer also unveiled the latest Heathers line-up, describing a team composed of a healthy mix of seasoned derby legends and strong new skaters, all players hell-bent on bringing the big Rose City championship back home to the Heathers:

Slaybia (captain)
Fire Crotch
Sol Train
Teq "Kill" Ya
Izabell Ringer (Co-Captain)
Rhoda Killer
Scratcher in the Eye
Goodie Two Skates
Viagrrra Falls
No Namey
Ginger Binger - NEW!! (as of April 2008)
Sump Pump
Mobi-wan Kenobi- NEW!! (as of April 2008)

Tara Heartout (retired but still involved with the team)
Noz - Coach
Willful Miss Conduct - Den Mom
Nurse Ratched -Mascot
BarFly - retired but still helping out with the team & league/Den Mom PLUS!!!

Kick it around in the comments section! Fans, get your questions answered and your voices heard by the very people who make derby happen. Skaters, let your admirers know what's on your mind and what you're up to, both inside of outside of derby.

Thanks for coming by. Let the cartoons begin!


MercGirl said...

A blog for us?!! It is like christmas with out the guilt and hurt feelings!! I feel so cozy and at home here. Yay for this new blog home!

Vominatrix said...

This is awesome thanks for taking the time to do this.