Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Slay is B.A.D. Girl of the Month

Right over here.

Congratulations, and

Heathers Por Vida!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Giving Windy City the Full Shniz

For anyone not in the know, I'll give you the back story. On Sept. 20th, 2008, my schedule allowed me to blow off the Rose City home bout and be in Chicago where the Windy City Rollers were facing the Kansas City Roller Warriors, the WFTDA Champions at the time. They pummeled the big bruisers from Kansas City for a 155/39 win. This experience spawned three key changes in my life; I became obsessed with the All Star/National level of the sport and travelling to see more, I wrote my first derbyesque blog post and I became a WCR fan.

That being said, when you combine my personal frustrations with the current WFTDA Divisional system, with that "BAD day in SucKro", I was not a Windy fan in the crowd. In fact during the Half Time break at the AoA bout, the night before, I told Nepalm Beth & Layla F#@king Smackdown to kick some Windy @$$. "Send a message. Our Number 4 can kick your Number 1's ass."

When that first whistle blew with Rhea Deranged on the line against Shocka Conduit and I was all about "Do it!".

Okay, so that jam yielded no points and was sort of a quick "feeling things out" kind of jam, but you could see that the magic was all in the pack. So when Soulfearic Acid took the lead in the next jam against Beth Amphetamine and hit for 14/1, Wheels had their first points on the board, the lead and some positive momentum. Cadillac's next five point jam just fed that momentum and Sully's 16 point jam that followed seemed to seal the deal. WoJ was sitting with a 30/1 lead and had every lead jammer after four jams which took us to the top of the jammer rotation. Rhea popped out of the pack quickly but was not the lead jammer. JK put a sweet hit on Windy's Shocka Conduit and despite being drawn into a game of chase, the WoJ pack tied her up for over a minute before she got the lead and called the jam. Even without lead status, Rhea stuck it for five and it was 35/2 WoJ.

The WoJ's blocking is what got them through the next few point drought jams. They limited Windy's jammers to small single digit jams, but Windy was also making some blocking adjustments that hampered the success of the "Wall of Justice" and the game seemed to be speeding up. The ninth jam and top of the rotation again had Rhea facing off against Shocka, who popped through in under 30 sec but did not have lead jammer and was able to make two passes before Rhea got out. No lead jammer and after two minutes it was a 13/4 jam for Shocka bringing the score to 39/18 WoJ. The game was definitely speeding up, the blocking became Wheels in a front wall and Windy in a back wall. The next several jams were quick hit, single digits jams and WoJ changed up rotation and maintained their lead. In the 15th jam with Sully and Athena DeCrime on the line, WoJ forced a slow start to kill time for Mangles who was serving time for her low block penalty when Smacks did an awesome job drawing a back block on Athena giving Sully a powerjam. Unfortunately, Windy did an awesome job of tieing Sully up for over a minute and it was 57/20 WoJ after 15 jams.

The next jam was a 3/3 jam between Rhea and Shocka with the score 60/23. It really marked a shift in play. The packs had been getting faster, more strung out and that really plays more towards Windy's style of play. Though WoJ would fail to put up points over the next four quick jams and fail to get lead, they did limit productivity. Jackie Daniels first jam of the night against Soulfearic Acid was Windy's biggest jam of that series and she hit for five bring it to 60/38 Wheels, at the half.

Windy left that first half with momentum and certainly did a good job of shifting the style of play to their comfort zone. They were hard fought quick blast jams. They were setting up in the rear and keeping the WoJ jammers from popping through. They were driving the bout even though they were down.

The second half started with WoJ down in the pack 2x4 and Rhea on the line against Shocka, who popped through and picked up 3. Soulfearic Acid followed in rotation, WoJ starting to feel penalties and still short in the pack as Beth Amphetamine popped through, quickly taking lead jammer. Beth stuck for five before being called out for Track Cut major, leaving Acid with a powerjam and a tough Windy pack.She did manage to even things up with 5/5 jam. Cadillac brought her "We're Not Going To Take It" attitude to the next jam, which began as a powerjam and for the first time in several jams, Windy was down in the pack 4on3. With some excellent blocking Cadi popped through on her initial pass quickly and despite Windy's jammer coming out of the box she managed a second full pass and another two passes to bring it to 72/46 Wheels. Sully was up next against Jackie Daniels and again the pack numbers were not on our side. Jackie got lead and racked up 7 as Sully struggled against the Windy blockers.

Back to the top of the jammer rotation, so Rhea was on the line against Shocka. Rhea made it through for lead and Shocka took a pummeling from the WoJ pack monsters. Rhea got two clean passes before a battered Shocka even cleared the pack for a 13/0 jam and 85/53 lead for Wheels. Again penalties took their toll with 2on4 pack for Sully against Windy's Ruth Enasia. Ruth got lead and a 12/0 run for Windy, bringing them back to a 20 point differential. Over the next several jams, Shocka, Jackie and Beth would hit for points for Windy while our heroes struggled. Ten jams into the second half, Windy had eroded the lead down to 10, then 7. It was 90/83 with about 12 minutes on the clock.

Rhea took the line against Jackie Daniels with a 2on4 pack. Windy elects to drop knee start for a no pack whistle. (STUPID is the note I have written down). Despite some monster Mobi blocking, Jackie made it through but with out lead jammer, only to then back block and hit the box. Rhea was finally through as Windy skated quicker and quicker, finally racking up three points. Soulfearic then faced Shocka, with a full compliment of blockers for both teams. Shocka came up quick on the Wall of Justice in the front as Acid struggled with the Windy back wall. That darned Smacks had this great push out block on Shocka which somehow became a major low block for Shocka. WoJ Powerjam! After Acid's first five points, Smacks got a Windy goat, turned around and did that things she does so well. Despite Shocka reentering the pack, Acid had maxed the powerjam out for a 19/0 jam. Wheels had regained a more commanding 112/83 lead.

Blood made her first jammer appearance next against Beth Amphetamine with a scant 2on2 pack and with a 15 second pop out time, she took lead jammer for our Wheels as Beth was called to the box and yes, Powerjam! With the 2on2 pack and a patient, calculating Blood Clottia with the star, she took her time to take Windy apart.

As blockers came out of the box, eventually WoJ had trapped a Windy blocker, stopping the pack long enough for even Chuck Norris or his superior to swallow these bitter words "That is why it is perplexing to me that a team of such seemingly inteligent (sic) and talented skaters would resort to such a demeaning tactic in order to win.". Mmm, a PiG never forgets.

Blood had gained 15 points and it was 127/83 Wheels of Justice with 2:30 left in the game. At this point, I had seen nothing from Windy that would over come that point gap with that kind of time. The next jam yielded 2 for Windy followed by a quick 0/0 jam. Now in last jam with Rhea and Shocka on the line. They would get a 4/4 jam bring it to 131/89 Wheels of Justice. (Until the point correction anyway...)

So there you go kids, our last big bout of the season.Not a perfect ending but the best we could hope for given the parameters. There is no shame in being 4th the Western division and though I will miss seeing my purple pals in Chicago this year, I can't think of a more fitting season ender. Not to sounds like my Cubs Fan friends, but there is always next year. Next year might just be the perfect storm, you can pitch in to help Rose City get a nice fresh track and who knows, maybe WooF ta-Duh will let us host Regionals.

If you can't wait, you can always check out Sicktown this weekend as they host Cherry City .

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Viagrra’s Last Stand

Last night the Axles of Annihilation took on the Slaughter County Roller Vixens in a hard fought bout. I was glad to be in attendance not only because it turned out to be a great bout, but it was also Viagrra Falls’ last time skating for RCR. She is one of the stalwarts of the league and will be sorely missed!

The first jam saw Minstrel Psycho get lead jammer status and three points, but Slaughter County’s jammer managed to slip through and even the score 3 to 3 right off the bat. By jam #3 Slaughter County had a 12 to 3 point lead. Minstrel Psycho, Twat Rocket, and Viagrra did a tight job of jamming, and by jam #9 the Axles saw their first point lead of the bout. That lead changed three jams later when Minstrel Psycho was sent to the penalty box, giving Slaughter County a power jam and a one point lead. The Axles fought back by adding Texine and White Flight in the jammer rotation. At halftime the Axles held a 73 to 56 point lead.

The second half started off with some stellar jamming from Twat Rocket, Viagrra Falls, and White Flight. The sixth jam of the second half saw a power jam opportunity for Viagrra, which gave the Axles a 95 to 80 point lead. But that lead was erased in the next jam when Twat was sent to the box and On’da Sligh evened the score 95 to 95. Slaughter County’s On’da Sligh was unstoppable! I swear that she literally floats through the air to get around the pack! There were four more nail-biting lead changes, but in the end Slaughter County gave the Axles their first defeat of the year with a final score of Slaughter County 137 to Axles 126.

All in all, it was a good, clean bout with few timeouts, good reffing, and not many skaters in the penalty box. In the end, we may have lost the bout, but we won the after party! (and the after-after party…ouch my head is still pounding!)

Tonight we have the Wheels of Justice taking on Windy City at 6:00 PM. Doors open at 5:00 PM, so get there early to get your seat. Just make sure you save JeLLyPiG a seat with a clear view of the track because I love reading his Windy City bout recaps!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Viaggra Falls Rolls On

Viaggra Falls has announced she's leaving roller derby. She will be ending a great career with Friday's match-up between the Axles of Annihilation and the Slaughter County Roller Vixens.

"It's kinda surreal, I'm trying not to think 'omg! what am I gonna do besides Derby!' (ok maybe I'm thinking that ;-}) I will be still sticking around to help coach or run practices for the Heathers, may even help out Freshies or Wreckers," she wrote in a message this morning.

"I am looking forward to having some time surfing more before it gets really crappy, snowboarding, hanging with my pets, my 'other friends' (Im surprised they are still around ;-}). Oh, and my friend has been trying to get me into motocross (we will see how that goes).

I am starting off my 'retirement' and traveling for a month starting in December into January. Going to Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam! So excited!"

A Heather since 2006, Viaggra developed into a prized jammer as well as a stalwart in the pack and a great derby personality, both on the Heathers and with the Axles. Last year she spoke about her derby history and other aspects of her life in this CI profile.

I cop to being a bit choked up typing this. As mentioned in last year's profile, Viaggra Falls was the first person I ever associated with Portland roller derby, and I have long considered her an iconic Heather. I salute her and reiterate that I will miss seeing her on the track.

Heathers Por Vida!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Docket

photo by Jules Doyle

That rag-tag, mix 'n' match, tough-as-nails crew of roving rollers the Axles of Annihilation face off against Bremerton's Slaugter County Roller Vixens at the Oaks Hangar, Friday October 15, 8 pm (doors at 7).

Buy yourself some tickets. Take your daughter to the slaughter.

The very next night, Saturday October 16 at 6 pm (doors at 5), Portland's Wheels of Justice face WFTDA North Central Region champs the Windy City Rollers. Flippin' epic. They're selling tickets for that, too. Get some.

Speaking of tickets, 2011 Season Tickets go on sale November 1. When that happens, it will happen here.

As always, the RCR Newsletter is excellent. Investigate it soon. Lots going on.


Friday, October 8, 2010

New Heathers, Old Heathers, Whiskers on Kittens

The Heathers scored in last night's RCR draft, pulling Uff-da and Shame Girl from Fresh Meat as well as ex-High Roller/WOJer White Flight and Heathers returnee Teqkillya (maybe this is the year we all agree on how to spell her name).

2011 is going to be another great year to be a Cadaver!

Heathers Por Vida!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Lucky number 13

My heart was in my throat during this entire bout. Oly is such a strong team, and they have been known to win by hundreds of points, so I was expecting a hard fight. What I wasn’t expecting was to see our Wheels perform so well against them! Oly started out to a strong lead, but in the 13th jam Sully Skullkicker obtained lead jammer status and had an amazing 29 point jam that gave the Wheels a 46 to 36 lead! The crowd went wild! Oly fought back hard, and our Wheels made them work for their 13 point lead that Oly held going into halftime.

Wheels kept the pressure on Oly during the second half. Rhea, Sully, Scratcher, and SoulFearic Acid worked hard to break through the Oly defense. The crowd was definitely on Rose City’s side. I’ve never seen or heard such a raucous fan section ever! (and I’ve seen, and been a part of, some really raucous fan groups) In the end, Oly had more points on the board than the Wheels did, but those numbers don’t even begn to tell the whole story. The fact that we did so damn well was enough to make this a victory in my book. Tomorrow we advance to play Bay Area. If we win that one, we go to the championships in Chicago!

Hopefully nobody dumped booze on JeLLyPiG’s notes this time, because I would really love to hear his take on this amazing bout!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Rollin' on the River

Our Wheels were Rollin' on the River this afternoon! In an exciting bout this afternoon, the Wheels of Justice advanced to the next bracket with a 122 to 104 win! The Wheels looked solid from the start. Scratcher, Rhea, Soulfearic Acid, and Caddi all did an awesome job of jamming and breaking through Rat City's defense. Smack Ya had a great block in jam 3 that helped Soulfearic Acid to an amazing 15 point jam that really put us in the lead. In the following jam, Scratcher gained 7 points. It just kept getting better and better. At halftime, RCR was ahead 68 to 27!

Rat City managed to stage a small comeback late in the second half, and they saw lead jammer status a few more times than they did during the first half. They chipped away at WOJ's lead, but it was too little too late. When the final whistle blew, it was 122 to 104! WOJ advances to play Oly tomorrow at 2:00 PM. That's about all I have time to post right now. I need to get back to the venue and catch the Oly vs. Tucson bout. JeLLyPiG is present, so maybe we can coax a more thorough bout recap from him at some future point.

Go Wheels!