Thursday, October 30, 2008

Roller Derby National Championship, Portland, Ore., Nov 14-16

From the Ministry of Information:

Portland, Ore. (Oct 29, 2008) – On Friday, Nov 14th the top eight flat-track roller derby teams in the nation will descend on Portland, Ore., for the 2008 Women's Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) National Championship: The Northwest Knockdown. Seattle's Rat City Rollergirls and Portland's Rose City Rollers will co-host the tournament featuring the hardest hitting, fastest derby teams in the country as they battle for the national title at the Portland Expo Center before an audience of 3,000 fans.

The Knockdown will highlight the volatility and unpredictable excitement inherent in the nation's fastest growing all-female sport, flat track roller derby. Tournament participants include a west coast Cinderella story (Duke City, NM), the east coast's year-long dominators (Gotham, NY), and the godmothers of modern derby who are dead set on regaining their place at the top (Texecutioners, Texas).

Texas Rollergirls (Austin, TX)
Gotham Girls Roller Derby (New York, NY)
Duke City Derby (Albuquerque, NM)
Philly Roller Girls (Philadelphia, PA)
Rat City Rollergirls (Seattle, WA)
B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls (San Francisco, CA)
Carolina Rollergirls (Raleigh, NC)
Windy City Rollers (Chicago, IL)

Tickets: 3-Day and Single Day Tickets available through TicketsWest
Doors Friday at 5:00 pm, Saturday Noon, and Sunday 1:00 pm
The Knockdown Party Tour: $33 for three nights of after parties at 13 venues featuring the best bands, DJs, grub and brew in Portland, OR (includes charter buses for Friday and Saturday nights)
For complete tournament details, please visit

About the Women's Flat Track Derby Association
Founded in 2004, the WFTDA promotes and fosters the sport of women's flat track derby by facilitating the development of athletic ability, sportswomanship, and goodwill among member leagues. The governing philosophy is "by the skaters, for the skaters." Women skaters are primary owners, managers, and operators of each member league and of the association. Operational tasks include setting standards for rules, seasons, and safety, and determining guidelines for the national and international athletic competitions of member leagues. All member leagues have a voice in the decision-making process, and agree to comply with the governing body's policies.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Docket

Here's the doin's:


9pm - 1am
The Crown Room
205 NW 4th ave, Portland, Oregon, USA
DJ AM Gold spinning funky-assed hits from the 30's to the 70's
Video replay of the championship bout!

Show up and shine out strong for the Heathers, just like they have done for their fans for three years!

That is all ye know on earth and all ye need to know.

Until Northwest Knockdown, Derby Nationals, November 14 - 16 at Portland's Expo Center. Hit that linked site! Very exciting mega-event.

Okay, then, see you Saturday!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Vom shows some art this Saturday at Branx, SE PDX

From the woman behind the lens at Delusional Photography:
I will be hanging some of my work up at a party this Saturday.Swing by and check it out and hang out with me :)
Where: Branx 320 SE 2nd
When: Saturday Oct 18th
Time: 10pm - bar close
Cost: $5
Theme: Drag so dress to impress

Monday, October 13, 2008

Gotham beats Chicago for Eastern Title

Archived bout coverage over at DNN.

Can't wait to see Beyonslay at Nationals, me.

Friday, October 10, 2008

The Big Bash for the Heathers Championship is Saturday, October 25

Spread the word, patriot. See you there -

Heartless Heathers 08 Championship Party
Saturday, Oct 25, 9pm - 1am
The Crown Room
205 NW 4th ave, Portland, Oregon, USA

Monday, October 6, 2008

West Regionals done. East Regionals next weekend. Northwest Knockdown next month.

Well, by now I'm sure you all know that, after suffering a bitter loss to the dreaded B.A.D. Girls, WoJ went on to destroy the Rocky Mtn Fight Club - a team that WoJ has OWNED the last couple times they've played.

After watching HOURS of live bout feeds, and getting frequent (and at some times constant) text updates from Noz who was at the Battle Royale live and in person, here are some of my takeaways.

1)The Texecutioners are back! The struggled through a tough, chippy battle with Rat City, then completely dominated B.A.D. in every way. Texas seemed to have been in a slump, dating back to last year's tourneys, but really getting scary this year. Let the Western Regionals serve notice that they have figured it out and are right back in the hunt as the #1 seed from the West going into next months Northwest Knockdown here in Pdx.

2. Rat City is truly one of the ELITE teams in the WFTDA. Dating back to before the Bumberbout in 2006 they have beaten just about every top quality team they've faced, and though they've fallen short of winning it all at Nationals, they are always right in the mix. Might this be their year?

3. Duke City's Munecas Muertas, long one of my favorite derby teams, played the the Cinderella role at this year's Western Regionals ball. Much like KCRW last year, they stormed into the top 4 and earned a Nationals berth from the lower seeds. Could they duplicate KC's dark horse run all the way to the championship?

4. B.A.D. has been making a lot of noise all year, schooling our Wheels of Justice twice. But their meltdown in the Regional championship bout vs the Texecutioners shows they still have some things to figure out before they're ready to take home the gold. Can they work out the kinks in time to challenge for the National championship next month?

5. Colorado has become an amazing hotbed of derby talent. Fielding TWO teams from Denver (Denver Roller Dolls and Rocky Mountain), and one from the nearby Colorado Springs (Pikes Peak Derby Dames), Colorado teams made up 25% of those invited to Regionals. Imagine how tough they'd be if those 3 leagues were merged into 1.

6. KCRW seems to have imploded after their phenomenal 2007 championship year. Even after their loss last month to Windy City I still thought they'd be back to defend their crown at Nationals. But Duke City stunned them in the 2nd round this weekend, sending KC packing early. With the impending retirement of Snot Rocket (currently the WFTDA co-record holder, along with Kamikaze Kim of Duke City, of the most points scored in a single-jam) the future looks to be a little rough for the Roller Warriors.

7. RCR's Wheels of Justice...what can you say about this team? I guess ultimately they finished last weekend's tourney right about where they should have given their ranking going in. Yeah, it would have been SWEET for them to skate in front of their home crowd in the Northwest Knockdown, but despite their hard-fought bouts, they just didn't have enough to break into the top 4. But they've taken some strides in the right direction this past year, and if they can find a way to finally win those close games, and get some more experience skating against quality opponents, they might be ready to make their first serious run at a National championship next year.

So there you have it. Entering the Northwest Knockdown from the West we have the TXRollergirls, B.A.D.Girls, Rat City, and Duke City. We'll have to wait until next weekend to find out who will make it from the East.

I'll be pulling for Charm City to follow Duke's lead and make it out of the lower seeds into the top 4, but that means they'll have to get past Cincinnati in the opening round and Windy City on day two.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

No Joy in Mudville.

I'll spare you the Mighty Casey bullshit. Nothing hidden in that headline. This morning our heroes, the WoJ, fell to the BAD girls from the B.ay A.rea D.erby, in a 120 to 95 ugly bout.

BAD established a lead quickly, WoJ did get within five in the first half. BAD had answers for whatever the Wheels threw at them. It was not pretty, the bout was sloppy, the feed kept crapping out, DNN was slow to update scoring and it was damn early. I'd love to offer some insight to the action but it took all my faculties just to process what I was seeing and keep things working on my end. Rhea added some much needed numbers, Blood Clottia played as amazing as yesterday, but much of the first half was Jammerless Jams. By half time the score had gone to BAD 55, Wheels of Justice 37.

The second half didn't get much better though the Wheels would pull with in 3.There were great jams by Rhea, Bumps, Clottia and Goodie. BAD did a great job controlling the pack and thus controlling the bout. They have a cast of creative jammers and the WoJ jammers just had no answer for getting through the pack. The WoJ struggled against a tough team and we lost, no excuses. BAD displayed great teamwork and that is a defining element to success in this sport.

The Wheels of Jusice started the year in some struggling bouts on the road, but did serve it up against Rat City and AZRD prior to the Battle Royale and have shown some elevation of their game. Though it's tough to lose they did play hard. Their tournament isn't over since they have at least one consolation bout.

The party is still on in November as the Rose City Rollers and Rat City play host to Nationals. I'm hoping to see my East favs, the Windy City Rollers here in Portland, but that will play out next weekend in Madison, WI. If you love the game you can't miss it.

Speaking of the Rats...

No surprises in Rat City's (2w) victory over Tucson (7w) yesterday. This was Rat City's opening bout in this Battle Royale but that's not why they won. Rat City won because they are a dominating team and that is just what they did to Tucson. Tucson was skating their second bout of the day, but frankly showed no spark from the beginning of the bout. Tuscon required ten minutes to post a point, which meant Rat City had already racked up 40! This was the turning point of this bout...

Between the four quick beers (after 5pm...Mom) on the empty stomach and the fact I had been OD'ed on online derby action, I lost interest. Not because I don't love Rat City, in the same way that any freaky Northwest native doesn't secrectly love the Mariners (....and all the great teams they bring out West that we can see). Frankly Rat City had this one, 113 to 22 at the half, and 170 to 81 at the buzzer. (Okay not a buzzer because of the stupid "jam on" rule but you know what I mean.) I'm gonna guess Rat City saved some energy in the second half for the Semi Finals tonight and who ever they face in game 16.

That opponent depends on who ever wins the bout that is on now, Rocky Mountain versus the Texas Roller Girls. The babbling chat box on the live feed from the bouts has loads of comments about "Austin what's the title". Well the title will have to go through Rat City first...

Check it out yourself

You can read all the action live at DNN boutcast.

Checkout the streaming video .

Friday, October 3, 2008

Round one and the Wheels are rolling in TeXaS!

Our beloved Wheels of Justice (5w) served it up 114 to 61 over the Denver Roller Dolls (12w) to advance to next round of the WFTDA Western Regional Tournament. Highlights include a 10-0 jam by Blood Clottia in the first half, Vom turning in 12 before being sent to the box midway through the first half. Denver did rally a bit towards the end of he first half, turning in single digit jams along with some tough defense from the monster Boo Boo Radley and Jersey Trouble dou to bring the first half to a Rose City 60, Denver 28 close.

The second half started with a full 2 minute 12-0 jam by Rose City."
DNN - Hurt Reynolds: After a careful scientific poll, 3 out of 3 DNN staffers agree that we don't know who jammed the first jam of this half". Shortly after our Vom pulled out of the pack and was soon after...sent to box for a Jammerless Jam. That doesn't put points on the board V !. But "In the Box" was regular occurrence for both sides in the second half as fouls stacked up. Rhea turned in a 9-0 jam before being sent to the sin bin bringing the score to 98 to 41 with 14:38 to go in the second half. Firecrotch jamming against Jersey Trouble crossed the century mark for the Rose City for a 101-43 lead. D. Konstructor then turned in a 5-0 jam to build on the Rose City lead. And "time in the box" continued with several Jammerless jams as the bout wound down.

The victory earns the WoJ the balance of the day off from play, they will face the B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls at 8am CMT, tomorrow morning. (Damn, up at 6 on a Saturday...)

B.A.D. has the 4th seed position in this tournament and is stocked with all star players that are self proclaimed "Douchebags", it won't be a pretty or an easy morning for our WoJ. A win against B.A.D. would mean a place in the Semi Finals and a spot at National, here in the lovely Rose City this November. It also means a second bout Saturday night, but being roller derby superheroes is not an easy job. A lose means they are done...well not really there are a crapload of consolation games to this event but the season as the locals know it is over. So tomorrow is the most important game if they are to have a season that continues past this tournament.

Also advancing from round one thus far:

Duke City (9w) held off a second half rally by Pike Peaks(8w) for a 138 to 99 final. Duke City now has to play against Kansas City(1w) in Game 7, later today. Have fun Duke City...

Despite a tight first few minutes, Tucson (7w) handed Dallas(10w) a lose in a 112 to 52 win. Tucson played the bout very smart towards the end to save some gas, since they face Rat City(2w) in Game 8, as the last bout for this evenings play.

There is still one more first round bout to be played today, which pits Rocky Mountain against the home town heroes Houston.

You can read all the action live at DNN boutcast.

Watch the silly stream at:

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Heartless Heathers Championship Celebration, Saturday, Oct. 25

via the Ministry of Information:

The Official Heartless Heathers Championship Celebration will be at The Crown Room on Saturday, October 25th from 9:30-1:30 AM. The Crown Room is a swanky lounge setting with oversized booths, a dance floor and stage located at 205 NW 4th Ave in Old Town (next to Magic Gardens). Fun, funky music from the 1930's-70's will be provided by DJ AM Gold (who played the league championship after-party). All fans and friends are invited to this fun event!

No parking on the dance floor.