Just watch these mad copy 'n' paste skillz:
GAME 2 WFTDA Sanctioned P1 FINAL
Wheels of Justice - Portland's Allstars 68 148
Rat City All Stars - Seattles Allstars 56 134
GAME 1 P1 FINAL
Axles of Annihilation - Portland's B Allstars 83 150
Rain of Terrors - Seattles B Allstar team 43 88
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Update: all Cadavers now prefunctioning at World's Famous Kenton Club after 3 PM
No pre-funk at Pause today. All WFKC.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Thursday, March 26, 2009
A Random Walk Down Derby Street
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The Docket
Oh, say, it's Cheap Ticket Night:
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Time: 7:00pm - 10:00pm
Location: Beulahland, Kay's, The Nightlight, Black Cat, Kelley's, Rogue, Kenton
I think Scratcher said she'd by at the Kenton Club. I wonder what that place smells like without cigarette smoke to mask other fumes.
Regardless, rollergirls will be selling cheap tickets at all the above-listed locations and offering sweet deals like 4 tickets for the price of 3 for Saturday's big Portland-Seattle matchup at the Expo Center.
Then Friday, March 27, 2009 from 7 to 9 p.m., it's the release party for "Doppelganger at the Hangar," the latest smash comic in the "True Tales of Roller Derby" series from Oni Press. The Heathers' own Titania along with Heathers affiliate the Mad Nader participated in the creation of this spooky, suspenseful gem. Come rub elbows with these and other stars at Cosmic Monkey, 5335 NE Sandy.
Elevated from the comments - Noz: Uh..., saying Nads and T-Moma "paticipated" in the creation of the comic is like saying your mother was there to lend a hand in your birth.
They squeezed that comic out...
Then Saturday, the big double-header bout at Portland Expo Center Featuring Portland's Wheels of Justice and Axles of Annihilation vs. all-star teams from Seattle's Rat City Rollers.
Tentative Vernon Neighborhood and Auxiliary Cadavers pre-function at 3:30 at Pause Kitchen and Bar, 5101 N Interstate Ave. We will have two Rat City fans in tow: come meet them. They're quite nice, just misguided.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Time: 7:00pm - 10:00pm
Location: Beulahland, Kay's, The Nightlight, Black Cat, Kelley's, Rogue, Kenton
I think Scratcher said she'd by at the Kenton Club. I wonder what that place smells like without cigarette smoke to mask other fumes.
Regardless, rollergirls will be selling cheap tickets at all the above-listed locations and offering sweet deals like 4 tickets for the price of 3 for Saturday's big Portland-Seattle matchup at the Expo Center.
Then Friday, March 27, 2009 from 7 to 9 p.m., it's the release party for "Doppelganger at the Hangar," the latest smash comic in the "True Tales of Roller Derby" series from Oni Press. The Heathers' own Titania along with Heathers affiliate the Mad Nader participated in the creation of this spooky, suspenseful gem. Come rub elbows with these and other stars at Cosmic Monkey, 5335 NE Sandy.
Elevated from the comments - Noz: Uh..., saying Nads and T-Moma "paticipated" in the creation of the comic is like saying your mother was there to lend a hand in your birth.
They squeezed that comic out...
Then Saturday, the big double-header bout at Portland Expo Center Featuring Portland's Wheels of Justice and Axles of Annihilation vs. all-star teams from Seattle's Rat City Rollers.
Tentative Vernon Neighborhood and Auxiliary Cadavers pre-function at 3:30 at Pause Kitchen and Bar, 5101 N Interstate Ave. We will have two Rat City fans in tow: come meet them. They're quite nice, just misguided.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Make my funk the pre-funk
It may be just Aitch and I, and it may be Aitch and I and Dancing Scott, and it may be Aitch and I and Dancing Scott and you all, but there shall be a WOJ/Oly prefunction today at 4 p.m. at the Royal, 311 Capitol Way N., Olympia. At five we will roll out with our proverbial holes out to Skateland.
Directions from place to place are here.
Directions from place to place are here.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
WOJ v. Oly open thread
At last a chance to again see some Heathers in action, this time on the Wheels of Justice as the Portland all-stars battle the Cosa Nostra Donnas at Skateland in Olympia, Saturday March 21 at 6 p.m. Afterparty at the Brotherhood Lounge (119 Capitol Way N).
Questions for consideration:
Who's in and who's out of the WOJ line-up? One assumes that Fire Crotch's hurty knee still has that esteemed skater out of commission, and that Itzo EZ is benched for a while as well. Other than that, do the WOJ have a full force to get busy one time? Can I hope to see Scratcher, Sol Train, Sump Pump, TeqKillYa and Viagrrra Falls in action?
Heathercentricity aside for a moment (actually for a couple of weeks), will WOJ have the benefits of Axl, Clottia, Bumpsalot, BustHer, Cadillac, Rhea, DKon, GMT, Layla, Leet, Licker, and Wrench?
What's this one hears about the Oly fans? Do they shout out rude names? Can they be any worse than Cadavers?
Can CND match their much-hyped rep?
Who's going up there to watch, who wants to pre-funk and where, and who is going to the post-funk?
See you in the comments.
Questions for consideration:
Who's in and who's out of the WOJ line-up? One assumes that Fire Crotch's hurty knee still has that esteemed skater out of commission, and that Itzo EZ is benched for a while as well. Other than that, do the WOJ have a full force to get busy one time? Can I hope to see Scratcher, Sol Train, Sump Pump, TeqKillYa and Viagrrra Falls in action?
Heathercentricity aside for a moment (actually for a couple of weeks), will WOJ have the benefits of Axl, Clottia, Bumpsalot, BustHer, Cadillac, Rhea, DKon, GMT, Layla, Leet, Licker, and Wrench?
What's this one hears about the Oly fans? Do they shout out rude names? Can they be any worse than Cadavers?
Can CND match their much-hyped rep?
Who's going up there to watch, who wants to pre-funk and where, and who is going to the post-funk?
See you in the comments.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
"Doppelganger at the Hangar" release party, March 27.
From the Ministry of Information, this ass-kicking good news:
Cosmic Monkey is hosting a release party for the latest RCR comic book, True Tales of Roller Derby: Doppleganger at the Hangar, Friday March 27th 7-9 pm at Cosmic Monkey. Its being promoted by Monkey and Oni Press, one of the top independent comic publishers in the country. To date, there is no other published comic book in the country featuring real derby ladies. Once again RCR is trail-blazing.
Please come! The book will be available for purchase, skates are allowed and there will be refreshments and a good time.
The illustrator, Dennis Culver will be there as well as the writers (the Heathers' own) Titania and Nader Absood, and colorist extraordinaire, Slambo!"
Again:
5335 NE Sandy
7-9 Friday March 27th
Synopsis with no spoilers: Goodie Two-Skates is missing! And who are these new skaters--the freakishly perfect freshies that have suddenly shown up? The Wheels of Justice have to find Goodie and get to the bottom of this mystery before Nationals, or Drillmaster and the Icy Blonde will succeed in corrupting the team forever! It's mad science and wicked skating skills courtesy of Portland's own Rose City Rollers!
Cosmic Monkey is hosting a release party for the latest RCR comic book, True Tales of Roller Derby: Doppleganger at the Hangar, Friday March 27th 7-9 pm at Cosmic Monkey. Its being promoted by Monkey and Oni Press, one of the top independent comic publishers in the country. To date, there is no other published comic book in the country featuring real derby ladies. Once again RCR is trail-blazing.
Please come! The book will be available for purchase, skates are allowed and there will be refreshments and a good time.
The illustrator, Dennis Culver will be there as well as the writers (the Heathers' own) Titania and Nader Absood, and colorist extraordinaire, Slambo!"
Again:
5335 NE Sandy
7-9 Friday March 27th
Synopsis with no spoilers: Goodie Two-Skates is missing! And who are these new skaters--the freakishly perfect freshies that have suddenly shown up? The Wheels of Justice have to find Goodie and get to the bottom of this mystery before Nationals, or Drillmaster and the Icy Blonde will succeed in corrupting the team forever! It's mad science and wicked skating skills courtesy of Portland's own Rose City Rollers!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
G'n'R 118, HRMF 105 open thread
Dang. Blood Clottia and penalties are em-effers (I think Blood Clottia is an em-effer in a good way, unless you're skating against her).
Anybody else want to type about the bout?
UPDATE: Elwood's recap is up.
'NOTHER UPDATE: Cuban Refugee has some good photos here.
Anybody else want to type about the bout?
UPDATE: Elwood's recap is up.
'NOTHER UPDATE: Cuban Refugee has some good photos here.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
High Rollers v. Guns 'n' Rollers open thread
photo by Zeb Andrews.
I haven't heard much about what has been going on in the practice barn with these two teams, but I'll assume that the High Rollers have kept pushing in their team-building efforts, and that the Guns 'n' Rollers haven't let up since January 24 either. G'n'R didn't exactly shine in the season opener, but their roster is still strong and they have a coach who should know what he's doing.
I favor the High Rollers in this one, and I'll be parking my ass down in front of the Players' Club, but as with Heathers v. Betties, I don't expect this one to be a rout.
I beg you to differ in the comments section.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Help find Layla Smackdown's missing purse
Extraordinary bummer: Layla Smackdown, beloved skater for the High Rollers and the Wheels of Justice, sets her purse down for a few minutes at the Heartless Heathers Anti-Valentine's Day Party and returns to find it gone:
My purse was taken on Saturday night from the Anti VD party.
It's a small rectangle clutch, about a foot long by 6 inches. It's entirely encrusted with beads. The pattern is multi-colored circles, some bigger than others. It's kinda tripped out. It's got a chunky blue zipper, and is lined with red velvet.
This purse is ONE OF A KIND, because I made it. If you know who took it, or see someone around with it, it is ABSOLUTELY MINE. They can keep the shitty make-up, my cell phone (now useless) and the approximately 16 dollars that was in there. Hell, they can even keep the half pack of Bubbalicious Watermelon Wave I really really want the purse back. No pictures exist, so here's a ghetto paint rendering of it (below). Imagine it like this, but way cooler, and covered entirely with beads.
Please contact me if you have any leads.
xoxo
Layla
layla.smackdown@gmail.com
My purse was taken on Saturday night from the Anti VD party.
It's a small rectangle clutch, about a foot long by 6 inches. It's entirely encrusted with beads. The pattern is multi-colored circles, some bigger than others. It's kinda tripped out. It's got a chunky blue zipper, and is lined with red velvet.
This purse is ONE OF A KIND, because I made it. If you know who took it, or see someone around with it, it is ABSOLUTELY MINE. They can keep the shitty make-up, my cell phone (now useless) and the approximately 16 dollars that was in there. Hell, they can even keep the half pack of Bubbalicious Watermelon Wave I really really want the purse back. No pictures exist, so here's a ghetto paint rendering of it (below). Imagine it like this, but way cooler, and covered entirely with beads.
Please contact me if you have any leads.
xoxo
Layla
layla.smackdown@gmail.com
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Come out and party with the Heathers Saturday night
Got that? Saturday, February 21, 2009 at 9:00pm - 1:00am
1322 SE Water Ave, Portland, OR
Suggested donation for this funder: $5.00
Buy some raffle tickets too!
I'm going to buy some new underwear for this event.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day - Heathers 131, Betties 107
Kanna and George with George's sign, the beauty of which is not adequately captured by my cell phone camera
Elwood has a good recap with stats here.
Down Goodie, Ringer, Vom, Viagrrra, and with Firecrotch sidelined during the bout, the Heathers' superior bench, stamina, strategy, and team cohesion combined to produce a big victory. Defensive and offensive games were both impressive.
And I won't be saying HPV any more because Megan tipped me off about human papillomavirus. Where have I been?
Anyway, your commentary is requested.
Friday, February 13, 2009
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