Monday, February 16, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day - Heathers 131, Betties 107

Kanna and George with George's sign, the beauty of which is not adequately captured by my cell phone camera

Elwood has a good recap with stats here.

Down Goodie, Ringer, Vom, Viagrrra, and with Firecrotch sidelined during the bout, the Heathers' superior bench, stamina, strategy, and team cohesion combined to produce a big victory. Defensive and offensive games were both impressive.

And I won't be saying HPV any more because Megan tipped me off about human papillomavirus. Where have I been?

Anyway, your commentary is requested.


JeLLyPiG said...

Everyone knows I'm going to post some described with the acronym "BS".

I am not sure if it was the intimate but gritty venue, the beer from a can or the level of brutality along with the WIN, but this one definitely goes on my Top 3 ever Heathers bout list.

Oh there were other dynamics at play; The "Don't Expect a St. Valentines Massacre" post on this blog which left me wondering "What the F@#K does that mean?". The fact that it was Valentines Day and I was escorting my wife, who is not a hardcore derby fan but somewhere along the '06 season decided she would root for the Betties when forced to attend. (My fear of poetic justice I suppose) The fact that the Betties were running the, somewhat intimidating, "Texecutioners-esque" warm up drills when we walked in and that some of my favorite players were carrying clipboards. All these things added up to some to major concerns when the bout started.

The Betties did come out with force and played a fierce game. This was not the same team we saw in the season opening tournement. In the end some bad habits die hard. The lingering tendency to play chase the Jammer is a prime example. A smart team playing with awareness and controlling the pack can always turn that miopic move into time in the box and the Heathers capiltalized on that damn near everytime.

Elwood's recap does a great job reflecting the details of the bout and I, per usual, am sketch on some details no doubt related to the number of pounders I pounded. I do know that "Ginger Binger is dead, LONG LIVE Ruby Bruiseday", you had me out of my seat. Elwood also gave monster props to X2Z and they were well earned because she skated a tough and very smart bout. (If memory serves me correctly, you might wanna watch the leg sweep when you fall..."Fall Compact" -Ivanna S. Pankin, Roller Derby 101). D-Day paid with time in the box but the veteran player that she is knew....those were some needed fouls because it helped breakdown the Betties momentum. Then there was Scratcher, Slabyia, Sump and Sol Train...DAMN! Let's just say, if you wore the uniform or stood with a clipboard yelling out battle plans, you did one hell of a job giving your fans some great roller derby action on Saturday.

As for the stigma or PC'ness of HPV? Well, as a Vulgarian myself I opt for the HPVMF. But afterall, DILLIGAF?

the_mad_nader said...

Last things first, "HPV" is and forever will remain a completely appropriate battle cry for the die hard Cadaver...but don't stop there, you can always do the HPVMF (subtle shout out to the High-Heathers alliance), or as particularly appropriate for this last bout HPVDMF (coined by Mr. BarFly). Be creative, and don't worry about propriety - this is the team of Slaybia Majora, Vominatrix, and Sump Pump for gods sake!

As to the bout itself, modesty aside, I proudly set the over/under at 20 pts - don't believe me? Ask the dude handing out Winterhawks gear (thanks for the t-shirt btw). I knew it wouldn't be a blow out, but I felt the Heathers were more than deep enough to control the bout. Even with Vom on temporary (fingers still crossed) hiatus, and Goodie, V.Falls, and Ringer all out, the Heathers still have the deepest, most experienced corp of skaters at every position.

You need scoring, you got KillYa, Sump, and Scratch. Need a wall at the front, you got FC, Titania, and D-Day. Want someone to soften up the opposing jammer from the 4-spot, Z, Rhoda, or Mo are happy to oblige!

Props must be given to the Betties - they're struggling to adjust to life without Ava, MegaHurtz, and Doom, but the reality is they're facing a problem of their own making - one that the '07 Heathers had to deal with too. But the Heathers learned that depth is the key, and have forged themselves into arguably the strongest team RCR has ever seen!

The derby geek in me would love to see what would happen if the Heathers could skate against WoJ...obviously that would require cloning those skaters on both teams, but I think it would actually be a very close bout.

Finally, the venue. Hangar bouts are the shizz. No parking fees, cheaper beer and concessions (and RCR actually sees some of the proceeds), and a stripped down more pure experience. I don't all the glitz and glam at every bout. Save that for the biggies (season opener, championship, travel team) and that makes the Expo experience all the more special.

One final point though - I cannot abide even one more HH bout with no Ice Box. I didn't realize they weren't going to have defined team sections, but if that's the plan going forward then we're gonna have to go guerrilla with some planning and stake claim on a section of the bleachers!

The Coroner said...

There was a moment in the first half when the Betties were up by a margin in the high teens, and red came rolling up to the pivot line, preening for fans and just gushing with overconfidence, that great human foible that has wrecked so many. A look to the Heathers bench showed calm, order, no drama. You just knew the Betties didn't know what was about to hit them.

On the de facto Ice Box request by Nader for the next Hangar bout, I think we need at least half of the bleachers nearest the door and farthest from the indoor Sanijohn. It's sort of a traditional Heathers location, innit!

JamieM said...

Oh man, it sounds like I missed out on THE bout of the season. That damned thing called work got me again. Well, I will be going to the next one, and the next one after that. Oh, by the way, what is HPV's meaning? I am a Heather's fan, and should know this stuff.

The Coroner said...

HPV = Heathers Por Vida.

Was that a Nozism? And who came up with "Just because we're Heartless doesn't mean we don't have hearts?"

Always liked that one.

D-Day said...

Sol Train coined the phrase "just because you are a Heather does not mean you are without heart" and before every game we have a special ritual with this.

Hey Nader, you forgot to mention Fire Crotch in your medley of HPV-ish names. Im dying to know what DILLIGAF

The Coroner said...

Thanks for the low-down, D-Day.

And I believe that DILLIGAF means, "Do I look like I give a fuck?"

the_mad_nader said...

I'm not sure if Noz coined the "HPV" battle cry, but if not he definitely could tell you who it was. I remember coming to one of those season one bouts, and seeing Noz and some of his peeps in the parking lot at the Expo, hand painting the first run of "Heathers Por Vida!!!" t-shirts. I'm very, very proud to have been given one of the very limited run of professionally printed HPV shirts - I was wearing it proudly at the last bout (albeit slightly modified by yours truly).

As a fan of the the ironic, I've always enjoyed noting that, top to bottom, from their days as the cast-offs from other teams, to their ultimate rise to multiple RCR championships, the "Heartless Heathers" have always typified the very notion of "having heart".

When they're behind, they don't quit. When they lose, they focus on what they can do to get better. When they win, they STILL focus on what they can do to get better. They are a team. They are competitors. They have HEART!

A favorite memory of mine was way back in 2006 when RCR went up to Seattle and the Heathers were matched up against Rat City's then champion DLF. Those girls literally and figuratively beat the holy hell out of our Heathers. After the bruises and sprains were bandaged, the grimaces of pain on the faces of so many Heathers quickly turned into confident smiles. They'd stood up to a top talent team (featuring many of the elite Rat City all-stars), and taken their lumps, but they stuck together, had learned something and they had fun. And they couldn't WAIT to have a rematch. THAT is heart. That is the HEARTLESS HEATHERS.


Noz said...

Great write-ups Cadavers! And JP, way to go on noticing the key to HH bringing the game back.

As for the history behind Heather's Por Vida, and HPV, this is what I remember:

I used to write/blog some on the first few bouts. After, I think the first 2006 bout, fellow Cadaver Biansay wrote me back a message that only said: "Heathers Por Vida". We started putting that at the end of all correspondence, the Toe Tags, and so forth. Biansay and I made the Heathers Por Vida T-Shirts for the first beating of GnR victory party at the Speak (where Biansay played). So many folks liked them that we brought a stencil to Papa Scratch's next tailgater. There are still some HPV buttons floating around.

As far as HPV, I vaguely remember us making shirts that said something akin to "HPV cures DLF" for the Seattle bouts (and then promptly chickening out to wear them in Seattle!). I definitely remember Apoc feeling that it was quite an inappropriate phrase, as that might degenerate into open discussions about where babies come from.

Vom coined my current fav, HPVB (Heathers Por Vida BITCHES!)

Oh, and if anyone wonders where "Cadavers" came from, that was coined by Tragedy Ann (retired 2006). We felt we had such a strong group of crazed fans we needed a name, and it had to come from the team.

ps. Heathers Por Vida

Ginger Binger said...

Best Fans Ever!!!! Heartless Heathers Por Vida!!!

JamieM said...

Great. Now I will have that stuck in my head.

firecrotch said...

silly little thing to nitpick, but i think sol train gets credit for naming the cadavers. i saved the email in the heathers team email forum. on march 31, 2006 sol proclaimed "CADAVERS" and so our beloved fans in the ice box were named.