Sunday, June 27, 2010

WOJ wins early morning scrimmage!

Now, I’m not a religious man, and I'm not the type of guy you would find in church on a Sunday morning, but what I attended this morning was definitely my version of worship. I had the privilege of sneaking into a closed scrimmage between Philly and WOJ. And when I say closed, I mean CLOSED. Besides the skaters, there were refs, a scorekeeper, a barebones crew of non-skating officials, and four fans (consisting of Draggin’ Lady, Mike Chexx, Amy, and myself).

The Wheels started off slowly and looking groggy (it was, after all, 5:00 AM Portland time). Philly had us down 10 to 1 in the first three jams. Then, in the fourth jam, it was as if Portland’s morning coffee started working, because the Wheels started to turn! Cadillac took lead jam in the fourth jam, Sully Skullkicker took lead in the fifth, Scratcher took lead in the sixth, Soulfearic Acid took lead in the seventh…you get the idea. We gained a two point lead by jam seven, and never looked back from there. The Wheels jammed Cadillac, Sully Skullkicker, Scratcher, Soulfearic Acid, Blood Clottia, Rhea DeRange, Wreck Deckard…am I forgetting anybody? Oh yeah, the jammer panty got passed to Smack Ya in the second to the last jam. By halftime, the score was Wheels 44 to Philly 29.

The pace of the pack was incredible. It was like speed skating derby. Very little of that “slow pack strategy crap” (as I refer to it as) was used in this bout. It was clear that this was a bout between two teams of highly skilled skaters. Philly’s Teflon Donna and Elle Viento scored the majority of points for Philly. There we few penalties during this scrimmage. It was overall a pretty clean bout. Thirty-two jams into the bout, the final buzzer sounded and it was Wheels 120 to Philly 88. To further the joke of only having four fans in attendance (who had to sneak in to this closed bout past a crack security team, mind you), the Wheels lined up and skated a victory lap, slapping our hands. There was almost a 5-to-1 skater-to-fan ratio. It was hilarious!

Okay, this self-imposed break is almost over. Back to the Sportsplex for more derby action! Don’t forget to tune into the live action today at 3:30 PM Portland time (6:30 PM Philly time) and catch the Wheels vs. Boston. I’ve been asked to do the live text-cast of that bout for DNN tonight, and I reluctantly accepted. So if you’re watching the live text-cast in conjunction with the streaming video, and the text part is three jams behind and everything is misspelled, then you’ll understand why. Until then keep tuning in here for more updates. Go Wheels!


George's proud der said...

Way to spread the by wifederby gospel hubby!! Keep up the good work.

kanna said...

Way to spread the by derby gospel hubby!! Keep up the good work.

The Coroner said...

What a great report. Wish I could have seen that!

George said...

Tonight's roster - Blood Clottia, Cadillac, Honey Hellfire, Layla Smackdown, Mick U Cry, Mel Mangles, Mobi-wan Kenobi, Naplam Beth, Rhea DeRange, Scratcher in the Eye, Smack Ya Sideways, Soulfearic Acid, Sully Skullkicker, Wreck Deckard