What a season opener!

Okay, I know I’m a little bit late with this recap, but it’s just a busy time of year for me. The season opener at the Coliseum was phenomenal, in my opinion! I loved everything about it. If you were a photographer, you were singing the blues, but if you’re a volunteer you loved not having to set up the lights. Also, the location couldn’t be beat. I can stagger home drunk from there no problem. Anyway, on to the bout recap(s).

The first of the mini-bouts was the much anticipated matchup between the Heartless Heathers and the Guns 'n Rollers. G’nR is looking really bad this season (and I don’t mean “bad” in a good way), while the Heathers are looking great. So this bout was the total blowout that I was predicting. It started off with each team gaining a few points each jam, but G’nR trailing behind slightly. Then, as early as jam #5 the Blast Unicorn found herself in a powerjam situation and gained 20 points for the Heathers. What ensued after that was an ass kicking of epic proportions. The Heathers have such strong jammers and such effective blockers, that they made G’nR look like the Rosebuds out there.

When the Heathers say that they have successfully combined the new talent with the old, they’re not just feeding you a line of bullshit. It’s the truth! D-Day, TeqKillYa, and Sol Train are as effective as ever. Even the not-so-new-yet-not-so-old Heathers really shined. Blast Unicorn, Butcher Block, White Flight, and She Rex all looked strong. Some of our newest team members really impressed me that evening. Mercy had no problem getting lead jam again and again. She makes it look easy out there, and I expect her to emerge from this season as one of the Heathers’ shining stars.

The second mini-bout of the evening was the Breakneck Bettie vs. the High Rollers. This was a much more evenly matched bout. The Betties are looking really good this season. Mr. DeRange is their coach and in my opinion is doing an excellent job of honing the Betties’ skills on the track. This was a close bout with several lead changes. I need to mention that Layla Smackdown of the High Rollers was on fire that night! Her blocking was amazing! If she plays like that all season, she’s going to be tough to get around. Finally the High Rollers managed to win by two points in the final jam. It was a real crowd pleaser.

The third bout hardly even warrants mentioning. It matched the champion High Rollers against the sorry-looking Guns 'n Rollers. The final score was High Rollers 327 to G’nR 2 (and no, that’s NOT a typo). I felt that the High Rollers should have given G’nR a fighting chance by strapping skates on me and Kanna and sending us out there. We still would have won, but at least the score wouldn’t have been so lopsided.

The final mini-bout of the evening was the most exciting for me personally. It was our beloved Heartless Heathers vs. the Breakneck Betties. Sol Train is as amazing as ever. As early as jam #2 she was wielding her amazing ass and blocking like nobody’s business. But alas, the Betties were looking really strong that evening and pulled ahead early in the bout. There were a few lead changes and the score was close, which is always a great thing for a fan. The pace of this bout was much faster that the first bout that the Heathers played that evening. I felt as if the Betties were luring the Heathers into a speed skating game. Sol Train was tossed out in jam #15, but it wasn’t for anything “fun”. Just some boring technical reason like she had too many fouls or some crap like that. The Blast Unicorn was sent to box for elbowing (which I honestly don’t think that she did) in jam #18, and that really sealed the fate for the Heathers. I have to hand it to the Betties this season, they’re looking good (did I actually just say that??).

So there you have it, Heathers fans - an exciting season opener at a great new venue. Unfortunately these were just mini-bouts that have no bearing on the season standings. But it was great to see what the teams are going to look like this season. And I have to say once again – I LOVE THE COLISEUM!

Heathers Por Vida