Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Big ol’ Betty Victory

Okay, I’m finally getting caught up on my blogging. Sorry for being so far behind…

Well, unfortunately I was unable to make it to last Friday’s Heathers’ scrimmage, but I hear that it was the total blowout that I was expecting. So I don’t feel too bad about missing it, but I did catch the Bettie vs. G’nR bout the following evening. This was yet another massive blowout. I wasn’t surprised, as that was what I was expecting. G’nR has been gutted of its star players by the Travel Team Only option that has also claimed our beloved JeLLyPiG and my lovely derby wife Kanna this season (or at least for the past weekend). Therefore I didn’t expect much from G’nR when I showed up at the hangar on Saturday. My expectations were confirmed soon after the first whistle blew. And man, did it ever blow!

I’ve been hearing MASSIVE amounts of hype surrounding Scald Eagle, so I was really curious to see what she was all about. Apparently Scald Eagle was originally on the Betties, but then switched to the Guns and Rollers amid some drama that derby girls are so well noted for. What I noticed was that Scald Eagle, much like her team G’nR, never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity. What I mean by that is that there were so many times that she got lead jammer, yet failed to score a single point. Twice I saw her trip over what appeared to be her own skates, and once she fell after bumping into one of her own teammates (jam #13). All of those incidents took place after she established lead jammer status. Also, she receives way too many penalties to begin to live up to the hype that I hear people saying about her. Sorry, but in my opinion I don’t think that Scald Eagle is the magic bullet that G’nR needs this season.

The Betties defense was awesome (oh my god, am I saying a second nice thing about the Betties in the same day??? WTF?!?!). Even when G’nR would find themselves in a powerjam situation, the Betties would keep them from scoring. Take jam #15 for example – Harajuke Girl found herself in a powerjam situation with all four of her blockers. The Betties only had two blockers on the track. Yet the Betties kept G’nR from scoring that entire jam. And that didn’t just happen in Jam #15, either.

I’ll save you the pain of going through my notes jam-by-jam and describing how G’nR missed opportunity after opportunity. There’s no reason to beat a dead, smelly horse. Couple that that with the fact that the Betties were on fire that evening, and you have the makings of another epic G’nR ass whipping. Final score was Betties 209 to G’nR 73 (no, that’s NOT a typo). I chatted with a cool, calm, and collective coach Mr. DeRange briefly in the parking lot after the bout. He nonchalantly mentioned as he rolled a cigarette “George, I tried to hold back and take it easy on them and tried not to score so many points, but I can only do so much!”

So this Friday at the hangar we have our very own WOJ taking on the Detroit Derby Girls (8:00 PM), followed by the Heathers vs. the High Rollers the following evening (6:00 PM). I may let my lovely derby wife Kanna use my season pass for Friday, but you better bet your bottom dollar that I’ll be there on Saturday to see the Heathers take on the High Rollers. I have a shirt picked out for that evening already!

Heathers Por Vida!


Anonymous said...

Harsh George. I need to defend Scald here by saying that yes, while she did get lead jammer several times w/o scoring points, this was not HER fault. In those instances her blockers allowed the opposing jammer out right behind her. When you have Acid on your ass, all you can do is call it off to keep them from scoring any points. Blame the blockers.
I was just looking at some stats for this game as well. Scald scored 38 of those 73 points, in second place was Havana with 11.
As far as penalties are concerned, she played in more jams than ANYONE else on the team and recieved fewer penalties than some who played much less than her.
And for the record, this girl had never heard of derby until last August. Scald is an awesome newbie, and I believe that had she been jammed more, and had her blockers concerned themselves with defense, she COULD HAVE won this game for GnR.

That being said... HEATHERS POR VIDA!

bmac said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bmac said...

I will also come to the defense of GNR. You said it yourself, a lot of the experienced players are gone. The team will have to take this season to focus on derby basics like closing the door after your jammer gets lead. Scald was indeed one of the jammers that was unable to score because the opposing jammer got out right behind her. There are ways to combat this that include blockers and jammers. As such, I will not put the blame squarely on the blockers...it's a team effort.

I have not looked at the stats and probably won't. There is nothin impressive about holding a very rookie jammer scoreless in a 2 on 4 power jam. It shows that they know how and when to implement specific strategies. Had they been going up against Cadi, dare I say, the results would have been different. Maybe I'm not giving the BnB enough credit here. A win is a win, no matter who it is in the end. There is something, however, more satisfying when that win came as the result of an evenly matched game.

GnR isn't the only team to be made up of mostly new faces. The Heathers have undergone some major changes as well. It takes time, hard work, etc. to get a brand new team to the level of play you super fans expect out of RCR teams. I believe in this butt rockin, kick ass crew!

Mark my words, the GnR are ahead of the game as far as rebuilding their team. We will see more teams losing veteran players in the coming season, I'm sure. The life of a derby girl is quite short. There are some folks out there that have been playin for five years or so now. Keep that in mind when you are watching a bout. Be kind to all the ladies of RCR...we work hard.


The Coroner said...

Count me as one who was impressed by Scald's raw, athletic, hockeyist talent. She's got the same "I live here" skate presence that underpins the skills of folks like On'Da Sligh, another one from the hockey world.

I too dislike hype, but am in the camp that thinks Scald is going to be quite a formidable jammer in the not-too-distant future.

Enjoyed the write-up as always, George, and count me also as one who appreciates your proud negativism very much.

JeLLyPiG said...

Well, TTO didn't mean I didn't watch it. I suffered through online audio issues but I did see...see with my special eyes. Though all I could really hear was Sideline Sarah and some drunk dude with a cowbell, I did see from the G'nr, all the pieces of a good team just not in the places they needed to be. And sorry George, but I too am on the Scald bandwagon!

She has some awesome talents, explosive off the line and gutsy through the pack. I see the same things in her we saw in a Rookie Twat.(Had to do it...)

G'nr did lose tons of talent but one jammer is not a silver bullet for a team suffering in the pack.

A fat drunk derby dork once said "Mediocre jammers become great and great jammers become mediorce behind THEIR pack."

Now, I am no 3M, but I would be running pack drills until the track was a pool of puke and blood. That team has talent, they just gotta figure out how to play as a team. Once that does happen (and I think it will) you can trust that your hilarious rants will come back to haunt you. Trust me George...I know firsthand.

Thanks for posts.

George said...

Scald Eagle could be the best skater in the world for all I know. I’ve only seen her skate in that one bout, and I witnessed several rookie mistakes. So my opinion is based solely upon watching her skate in that one bout. Okay, maybe she was just having an off night. I can’t say. I can only speculate based upon her performance that evening. I’m not trying to put her down, I’m just saying that she misses living up to her hype by a freakin’ mile, that’s all. I don’t know what your camera angle was JeLLyPiG, but I what I witnessed wasn’t “explosive off of the line” by any means.

Come on, Coroner. You’re comparing Scald Eagle to On'Da Sligh??? You’ve gone a bit too far with that one.

>>”Scald scored 38 of those 73 points, in second place was Havana with 11.”

Yes, and the majority of those points were earned during a power jam (jam #39) at the end of the bout where she picked up 16 points. Every other jam was a point here and a point there, with many scoreless jams thrown in. So if you throw out jam #39 as a statistical anomaly, you'll get a much more accurate portrayal of her performance that evening. Once again, I'm not saying that she "sucks", and she is certainly better than I am on skates, but she does not live up to the hype that has been surrounding her. That's all I'm saying.

JeLLyPiG said...

Well I didn't track nothing, but I do remember her jamming in the second half (hit for 10, I think) and popping off the line, establishing position then methodically working through a crowded pack. That working through the pack time would have been cut down with some added team work. It was good enough to make me tweet some shit that night.

George said...

>>"It was good enough to make me tweet some shit that night."

Oh, so you're the source of all of this hype that I've been hearing! It all makes sense now!

Anonymous said...

I taunt you, George, because you are wrong.


Anonymous said...

Dear George-

I think I love you! You are so smart and understand derby strategy better than I can ever hope to. I really hope you will let me take a steaming shit on your chest while I jizz all over your face someday. For that is my biggest derby fantasy!!!

Anonymous said...

take your fucking meds and quit being a dickbag to promising new talent. diss gnr all you want but to single someone out on their first bout is hella douchey. I hope the heathers remove themselves from your slander. you suck. with superfans like you who needs jocks and meathead dudebros? eat shit and die. I will also shit on your chest but couldn't possibly muster enough excitement to jizz in your face. get a sex change in time for the HH anti v-day party, we all know that's what you really want.

The Coroner said...

George, your anonymous fans seem to all be Cleveland Steamer enthusiasts! What can we infer from this?

JeLLyPiG said...

Clearly they all give sh!t, even if it's a chickensh!t...hiding behind Anonymous and all. Hey, thanks for spiking our net traffic, please come again! ^_~

Anonymous said...

I also think that the post is unfairly singling out Eagle. You haven't seen her play before because that is her first derby bout ever. She started playing roller derby last year and roughly 5 months later had her first bout. She is not GNR's Jesus nor can be expected to as a new skater to single handedly hold up the team. The fact is that she was their best jammer of the night. And when she blocked she was one of the most aggressive blockers of the night, (her and Micro, in my opinion). Both of those tells me she is an impressive newbie and is what GNR needs. Imagine the score w/o her.

You are unfairly comparing her to the hype but you have to know the rest of the story too.



Anonymous said...

I like the blog so much better when George isn’t writing it, if I wanted to read about gossip and/or hear someone complain I would subscribe to the national enquire.

Anonymous said...

George is giving the Heathers a bad name. Im a fan of the Heather and I'll bet money NONE OF THEM WOULD TALK LIKE THIS ABOUT A ROOKIE and or another RCR member.
I would encourage the Heathers to support George in maybe taking a different approach when writing a blog that is representing your team and your league. Help me understand how this connects with our Mission statement?

Blood Clottia

bmac said...


I see your point, along with some other answers from less eloquent responders. Remember, it is up to the writer to choose what they do and do not say. The team is not responsible for the opinions of a fan. He is the only person that can censor himself....freedom of speech blah blah blah.

What would you suggest we do? Spank him? Forbid him to don any HH wear? Tell him we no longer want him to be a fan of our team? None of those options are realistic. He is an adult with the right to do and say as he pleases. We can't control George anymore than we can control Harm, Mark, Grant, or even Jason (pre coaching).

You all are free to disagree with him in any way you see fit. I would say the chief responsibility of the HH is to uphold the mission of RCR by being as supportive as possible to everyone. If this was a skater written blog I would agree that it is contrary to our mission as RCR members. Alas, it is not. As a heather I give all the love and support I can to most skaters (especially rookies). That is all you or anyone else can ask...IMHO

Please understand, I am not saying he is 100% right. Read my first response. He does, however, have the right to say whatever he likes no matter how harsh it may seem to the general public.


George said...

>>"...when writing a blog that is representing your team and your league. Help me understand how this connects with our Mission statement?"

I am not officially affiliated with the Heathers or any mission statement. I am a fan and I post my opinion(s). I don’t consult with the Heathers before posting to see if they approve. I assumed all of that was obvious, but I see now that I need to add a disclaimer to my post(s) that states "the opinion expressed in this post in no way reflects the opinion of the Heartless Heathers", or something along those ridiculous lines.

>>"George, your anonymous fans seem to all be Cleveland Steamer enthusiasts! What can we infer from this?"

I don’t know what the story behind that is, but it's quite disturbing. Let us just hope that it was the same anonymous person posting that, because it's even more disturbing to think that there is more than one G'nR fan out there with a fecal fetish. Seriously though, all I was doing was publicly responding to a bunch of G'nR fan hype about Scald Eagle. I wasn't making personal threats, and I certainly wasn't saying anything of a sexual nature, so I don't understand the fecal themed back-lash. Also, what is with the "sex change in time for the HH anti v-day party" comment all about? I mean, I can kinda understand the inherent insult in saying that a person wants a sex change operation, but to have a specific timeline picked out is just downright strange and creepy. And what on earth is a “meathead dudebro”?

George said...

Whitey posted one minute before me, therefore I didn’t have a chance to see her post first, which is a shame because she said it much more eloquently than I did and it would have saved me some typing. Thank you Whitey.

For the record, I don’t hate G’nR or Scald Eagle or any RCR member for that matter. I’m just responding to the hype put forth by G'nR fans. Sorry if some of the stuff that I say rubs you the wrong way. If you don’t like it, Blood Clottia, maybe you should either tell your fans to stop talking so much shit, or tell G’nR to start backing up the shit that their fans are talking. Whining and acting like a victim is only going to make me roll my eyes even more.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Whitey! I agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and you're right that George doesn’t have to follow some of the same code of conduct we do.
I absolutely think you should punish George! Im thinking the spanking booth at the Heathers party would be just fine, though I would like to suggest Scald be the one that gets to have at him. Another option, have you ever seen him on skates? I would love to have just one practice with him, a two hour period to bust his ass into derby shape. Then we'll see how much shit he talks about anyone.
About being a fan and not affiliated with the Heathers, I disagree. You are an RCR fan, in brutal beauty as a super fan; you travel with us, party with us and have been around for years. I have higher standards/expectation of you, George! Just saying
The sad thing about all this is George is my adopted derby father. Lucky me!


George said...

I would totally agree to the spanking booth punishment! That sounds like a deal. I’d strap on skates and do the two hour skating session, too. I have awesome medical insurance and a high threshold for pain. Bring it on! I’m willing to sign waivers, if need be.

>>”About being a fan and not affiliated with the Heathers, I disagree. You are an RCR fan, in brutal beauty as a super fan; you travel with us, party with us and have been around for years. I have higher standards/expectation of you, George!”

I kinda see your point, but you’re heading down a slippery slope. If you censor me, then you have to censor others. Where does it stop? Who polices it? Would I have to go in front of a disciplinary committee every time somebody didn’t like something that I said. Hell, that would suck all of the fun right out of derby for me in an instant!

>>”The sad thing about all this is George is my adopted derby father. Lucky me!”

Stop spreading that around! Do you want me to get a bad reputation or something?

Anonymous said...

ps I'm not into policing anyone, just be nice!


bmac said...

You are more than welcome my friend. The back and forth between you and Blood is quite entertaining. I'm thinking a Scald spanking might be in order to restore good faith between the fans and the players...