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Last Blast for Sump Pump

As you may recall, last April Rose City Rollers luminary Sump Pump sustained serious injury with a fractured jaw while skating in a bout, and RCR and friends (including Delta Cafe and Flat Track Revolution) banded together to raise over $3,000 to help our friend out. And Sump Pump has healed up and is looking good and happy.

But now that the insurance dust has settled, we find that a substantial liability persists: deductible and expense cap aside, there were some items that insurance just didn't pay for, so total uncovered medical costs exceeded $10,000.

So we're going to give Sump Aid one last blast before we take the PayPal button down. If you can give a little more for Sump Pump, please do.

Click the "Donate" button in the upper right-hand corner of this page to help.

Many thanks.

Heathers Pouring Beer at Bones and Brew

Once again this year as in years past, the Heartless Heathers will be pouring beer for a great cause at the 15th Annual Bones and Brew Festival

Deets:

Date: August 1 and 2, 2009
Admission Cost: $3
Suggested DonationTimes: Sat 11 AM - 9 PM ~ Sun 11 AM - 7 PM

The 15 th Annual Bones and Brew Festival, Aug. 1 and 2, benefits the Oregon Zoo. Last years event drew more than 4,000 people to Portland 's historic Pearl District and raised more than $11,000. This year's family and dog-friendly event will be a celebration of the American Backyard BBQ and include: BBQ vendors, a BBQ contest, Kobe Bleu Ball eating contest, Dog Vendors, Charity Dog Wash, 20+ Microbreweries and Live Music.

Action Central will be the Rogue Distillery and Pub, at NW 14th & Flanders. Live music and other events. And bones. And brew. And Heartless Heathers.

Go along and have a good time.

Ringer takes two Silver Medals at Quad Nationals; RCR moves up to 3rd in the West

Last Saturday, Izabell Ringer blazed around the track in Peoria in a few different events to take the Women's Masters Division overall Silver Medal, and an additional Silver in Mixed Relay at USARS Quad Nationals. It was a day of conquering adversity as her Mixed Relay partner suffered a dislocated shoulder, and Ringer herself was knocked to the floor by a dirty opponent during her individual heats. There is a photo of the floor burn that we shall not reproduce here without the burn owner's permission.

In other happy news, Rose City's Wheels of Justice moved up above Rat City and Bay Area teams to third place in WFTDA's Western Division Rankings.

They will spend that car wash money well.

Axles of Annihilation 133, Rat City Rain of Terror 67

Oh, my stars and garters.

RCR 120, Carolina 62

Well, what do you know about that?

Oh, I must write that down.

Double Secret Carolina/WoJ bout doin's

Okay, so maybe "SOLD OUT" doesn't mean as much when you are only talking about five lucky people and their guests, but fear not WoJ'sters. The mighty DNN will be honoring us with a trip out west to bring the action of this bout to you...online. I know I have happily wasted some of my lifetime watching DNN's online feeds. Like ECE a couple of weeks ago. Yes, pre-City Championship here, I had the pleasure of watching Carolina fire back from behind and beat Boston 82 to 81 in the last two minutes, in my own home.

So you too can check it out if you haven't...click here. Or just go to www.rosecityrollers.com

Now, if you don't want to sit and watch derby in the privacy of your own home, perhaps in your underwear enjoying a KFC Sadness bowl and a few PBR's, you can join the derby crowd at Kay's. Yes, right up the hood from the Hangar, Kay's at 6903 SE Milwaukie Ave. will be hosting a live feed viewing party. So you can still get your crowd scene on even if you aren't part of the crowd at the scene. Either way it's probably the only way to catch a bout you don't want to miss.

Now if you bother with DNN's Power Ranking silliness, you already know Carolina holds the 10 spot on their charts. Our beloved WoJ is sitting at number 12, which could mean our Wheels could gain some Top Ten status with a win. Now I realize this is "just" the DNN Power Rankings, but currently this system is the only overall master rankings of all the teams across the country, that actually moves with play throughout the season. It doesn't mean shit if WoJ doesn't win in Denver in October. Until then, a win against Carolina and some improvement in ranking don't hurt us none. You can check out DNN's pre Bout Preview here.

So don't just sit there, unless you want to. In which case, here is the link to view the bout... AGAIN.

Coach Izabell Ringer leads those SickTown Derby Dames to victory...

The Centralia (aka Rainy City) Rollerdrome played host last Saturday to a double header featuring Rainy City and Treasure Valley battling it out with SickTown Derby Dame Vs Fort Lewis Bettie Brigade on the under card. The venue was a great small town rink that had some of my favourite roller derby accessories, a beer garden, indoor plumbing and air hockey.

Both SickTown Derby Dames and Ft. Lewis are relatively young leagues, in fact it was Ft Lewis' first bout but the action didn't lack from the experience. The bout was close through most of the first half. There were plenty of major hits and solid jamming skills displayed by both teams leading to a close halftime score of STDD 77 Ft Lewis 63. After the half, Sicktown built on the gap with some great jams from Rice Crackr, St Nick and Hot Boxxx. Though Ft. Lewis was not going quietly, even the monstrous Tamazon and Legs Le'nor could not keep the SickTown dames from the win. In the end STDD racked up 137 over 115 points for Ft Lewis.

As for the main event, it was a hard fought or more accurately a brutal bout that ended with some controversy.

The thumbnail view is: Rainy City, on the backs of some of the speediest little jammers around came out strong and fast. Treasure Valley battled the speed game with some tough defense and hard hits. The first half was chaotic in my opinion and would end with Treasure Valley down 47 to Rainy's 71. The second half picked up just where the first half left off in terms of aggressive play. With just under 20 mins left in the second half, Rainy City up 89 to 63, ANGxiety Rush of Treasure Valley took an elbow and was knocked unconscious. This stopped play and ultimately the bout.

The coach for Treasure Valley had had enough and forfeited the game.

The major problem (and huge distraction for me, hence the lack luster NON recap of the bout) was the lack of officiating. It was so bad that I don’t remember details of the speedy jamming styles of Holly Hobble or D.V.S. Dicer (A mini version of Blood Clottia) because I spent most of the time yelling, pointing and being disgusted by what I saw as Roller girls gone wild…and not in a good way!

Now as I crawl out on a limb here, there are three caveats to my comments.

#1) I am not a casual derby fan. I would stack my understanding of the WFTDA rules against 99% of the "Fans" at that bout. (Noz, Nepalm Beth and Mercyful Kate would have to be excluded. Kanna, George and my daughter Bailey would no doubt be my biggest competition) but I know what I saw.

ii) I realize I am holding Referees that are "Volunteers" responsible for their actions or lack there of. I am not bitching about the score board operator, the people running the door or the score whore here, these are the OFFICIALS of the bout which, pay or NOT, comes with responsibility. It also comes with the expectation that you need to not only KNOW the rules, but be willing to enforce those rules.

C) Most importantly, I am not dissing ANY LEAGUE, TEAM or PLAYER. I am not trying to discourage people from seeing bouts in Rainy City, in fact I would encourage everyone to go check out their bouts and venue...it's got a funky factor of 10 and they are good people that are working their asses off to make derby a vibrant part of their community.

All that bullsh!t said...

Early on, I thought the ref crew was just new and figuring out how to work together. I thought they would work through the bugs and that they would get it together. Then I thought they were trying to give some room to Sicktown/Ft. Lewis because they are relatively new teams. By the time Rainy City and Treasure Valley hit the track I was completely frustrated by what I saw as an absence of enforcement of the rules.

In as much as the poor ref'ing hurt any of the teams, it also helped. Of course the skaters figured out they could get away with stuff and so they did. That's not an insult, each team has to play the bout that is happening; taking every advantage they can...it's the nature of sports. Now with Sicktown and Ft Lewis, they are young developing teams, so they didn't have the skills yet to do the kind of damage Rainy City and Treasure Valley could, and did to each other.

At the half, I said that I thought the calls were lopsided but Bailey called “bullshit foul” on me, saying "Treasure Valley may be behind in points, but they are beating the crap out of Rainy and even IF, Treasure Valley has had more box time but there are still only being called for part of their shit." Later she would make the most damning statement which seems to boil the bout down to its essence, "How is this a WFTDA sanctioned bout? It looks more like Renegade Roller Derby."

And indeed it did appear to be lawless.

During the second half, people around us figured out that we had some more understanding of game basics and starting asking both us questions about rules. It was ironic because I would say "You can't do" this or that and then they would point out that it was just done. I could see skaters looking at the ref's because they KNEW what they just did...and they were puzzled they weren't called for it. This of course was contrasted by calls that were made for no visible reason.

Eventually this all led to a skater down, which though I enjoy seeing a tough hard hitting bout, a skater on the floor is always scary. Treasure Valley's coach made a tough but wise and as I have said in other venues...a brave choice. The coach chose the best interest of the players over the game. I can only imagine how rough things would have gotten as they got to the usual passionately played ending of the bout.

And so begins the aftermath...

I sent a quick text to Elwood, he was up in Oly for the big Hot Rod Honeys bout. That got me a follow up message and eventually I sent him my assessment in an email.

The next day saw an inquiry from Miss Mel Mangles of Rainy City and this morning, the same thing from their coach Ryrod.

All of which, got the same story…

It is clear that the entire Rainy City organization recognizes there are some growing pains here, that there is a problem and they intend to fix it. Again, though they hosted the bout I don't really blame them for shit. I think it is reasonable to expect a level of professionalism from those that make the choice to wear the stripes.

Yes, I have had various issues with refs over the course of my Roller Derby Fandom, but I have always respected what they do. The result of this bout is a deeper appreciation for all the Refs in the Rose City and across the country that take the responsibility seriously. I hope that the Officiating crew assembled for this bout learns from the experience. I did. I learned just how valuable the rule set is...

Thoughts from a fan, geek, volunteer and [occasional] staff dude

Alright, I was going to wait until JeLLyPiG wrote up his always fantastic Post-Mortem of the bout, but I find myself unable to hold my tongue (or typing fingers) any longer.

I basically have three points I want to make, and I'll try to do so in as respectful a manner as possible, but I gotta say there have been some things a brewin', largely in the peripheral derby community, that I find utterly disgusting, and I can't let that stuff stand without expressing my own opinion.

Point 1: The RCR officiating crew (refs, stats, auxiliary staff) are top-to-bottom some of the best, most professional, and hard-working bunch you'd find anywhere in the derby world! Widen that out to the larger world of amateur sports in general, and I still doubt you'd find many who work harder or are more passionate and committed to their respective sports.

I've been a fan of roller derby since, oh about 2003, and I've always known RCR has a bunch of good refs, who are well-respected nationwide, doing a job that is difficult and complicated. Still, it wasn't until this year, when I got to see them working "from the other side" if you will, that I realized just how hard the job is. There are literally dozens of places where mistakes can be made, information being communicated can be lost, calls being missed or blown, rules interpretations must be brought to bear on new situations, and of course, there are "challenging" personalities (skater and fan alike) making an already tough job that much more difficult.

I make this point because, it has become almost commonplace for people to start lobbing insults and abuse, even after the game is over, at refs and other officials - and sometimes I think it goes over the line. I'm not saying don't be passionate about the sport you love (or in the case of skaters, the sport you play). I'm not even saying don't be critical, or disagree with the refs. What I AM saying is that I can't respect someone who is unable to articulate their feelings with a little respect.

Basically, if you think you can do a better job, then strap on some skates, set aside 25-30% of all your free time, and go be a ref. Lord knows they wouldn't turn you away! But be prepared to actually read those rules you like to bitch about. And make sure you attend the ref practices, meetings, and rules discussions. Don't even think about missing the countless hours of scrimmages in the league. Oh, and don't hold your breath thinking that anyone's gonna actually compensate you for your time!

Point 2: Sports are governed by rules. Roller Derby is a sport. Ergo, Roller Derby is governed by rules. YOU don't write the rules. I don't write the rules. Cheering fans of the Betties who pulled out a heroic victory over a High Rollers team that was about 2 minutes away from snatching away the 2009 Championship don't write the rules. Disjected, frustrated GnR fans who watched their team come unglued again don't write the rules. Skaters sent to the box don't write the rules.

Nevertheless, the game is governed by rules. You don't have to like all of them - lord knows I got a few I can't stand - but the rules are the rules. Athletes who play a sport must understand the rules. They don't have to like all of them any more than you or I do, but if they want to be successful, they had better put in the time to figure them out, and learn what the appropriate strategy for every given situation is.

There has been a lot of discussion recently over the "stopping on the track" strategy that we witnessed at the last bout, most of it vilifying the Heartless Heathers for implementing the tactic against the Guns 'n Rollers (oddly, no one seemed to mind when GnR did it against the High Rollers earlier this season. Or when the Wheels of Justice did it against Rat City, also this season).

I'm going to assume that you fully understand that what they did was LEGAL, and totally allowed under the rules that govern the sport (and it's arguably still allowed under the new 4.0 rules - I'll discuss that more in a future post). So why is anybody upset if the team broke no rules?

Is it because it's "boring"? Well, that's a subjective opinion, to which you're entitled to hold, but I have to disagree. I find it immensely satisfying to watch a team of blockers, in the heat of competition, synchronize their efforts by focusing all their hits on a single opponent, lock that opponent down with them, then drag her back away from her teammates, thus exerting control over the pack and effectively taking their opponents out of the game.

That is control. That is strategy. That doesn't come without practice and team chemistry. That is roller derby. Boring? Hardly, but we obviously are gonna have to agree to disagree.

So, let's say you think it's boring. Well, the good news for you is that you don't see it happen much. I couldn't confirm this without seeing the video, but I've heard it said that the Heathers employed the strategy 2-3 times in the last bout. Since the strategy really only makes sense when the opposing jammer is in the box, and penalties are only 1 minute, that means the most we saw was 3 minutes of this. Out of 60 minutes.

Think about that for a second. Are you really upset because you were "bored" for 3 out of 60 minutes? That's 5% of the game time! And I'm not counting the many team and official time outs, just the regulation bout time. To put that in perspective, do you realize that there are roughly 30-40 total jams in a bout, and that teams are allowed 30 seconds after each jam to line up (i.e. clock ticks, but no derby happens) - that means, conservatively, there are 15 out of 60 minutes (or 25%) where NOTHING happens. Do you think THAT is boring too?

I can't help but think there's something else going on here; something more behind all this "outrage". Especially when you understand that BOTH teams engaged in it, yet only one is being criticized.

Maybe you think it is "cheap", because you want to see them skating fast all the time. To that all I can say is, expand your horizons a bit. In the NBA there's this thing called the 24 second shot clock. That means that you can hold the ball in your hands and do nothing for 24 seconds before you have to give the ball to the other team. At the end of almost every game, if you've got the lead, that's exactly what you do. Is that "cheap"? In the NFL you're allowed 4 downs, with like 30 seconds to call a play on each down, before you turn the ball over. You know what happens when you're down to the final 2 minutes, have a lead, and you get the ball back? You don't call a play, you just kneel down over and over until the clock expires and the opposing team can do nothing. Is that cheap?

Alright, I really could go on and on even more about this, but I'll just quickly wrap up this point - if you are bitching about what you saw there are two things you should do. One: send WFTDA an email explaining what you do and don't want to see in future versions of the rules. Two: Grow the eff up!

Point 3: The Heartless Heathers are the greatest roller derby team in RCR, possibly the world. Not because they won the 2006 & 2008 Championships. Not because they were undefeated against 3 of the 4 teams in the league this year. Not for any accolade they've earned individually or as a team on the track.

In my opinion the Heathers are the greatest team because they embody everything I want to see in sports. They have skilled skaters, yet they are always trying to improve. They have strong new talents, but still have the guidance of experienced veterans who have logged more hours playing the sport than many have even wearing skates. They are a team that supports each other, but of equal importance they support the league and the greater derby community. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone in the league who works harder at the non-team stuff than the Heathers. Be it coaching and mentoring youth derby or the new recruit "Fresh Meat" or raising money for charities, the Heathers get it.

They're fierce competitors, surely, because that's what athletes do. But after the heat of the moment has passed, win or lose, they always give respect and love to their opponents. I've been able to witness the heights of their success, basking in the glory of their multiple championships, but I can honestly say that I've never seen them in higher spirits than when they congratulated the High Rollers who beat them both times in 2009 - a feat no other team could pull off even ONCE!

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, although I know the team has likely seen some angry, virulent stuff flung about in recent days - just know where it's coming from. And know too that your fans, friends, and family love you and support you.

So, thanks Heartless Heathers for a great 2009! Not without it's ups and downs to be sure, but wow what a ride! To those moving on, you will be missed and remember: Heathers POR VIDA means for life!

To those returning for next year, good luck in the off-season! I hope to share a drink and/or a laugh with you this summer, knowing you'll be back stronger than ever next year!

KATU Spot on RCR

Hat tip to JeLLyPiG for finding this one.

Heathers and Betties Victorious.

Heathers 186, GnR 153
Nice photo. Fat Tire much?

A Few Words with Viaggra Falls

Viagrrra Falls, photo by Delusional Photography

VIAGGRA FALLS: I'm 33, Live in NE 1 bd apartment with my awesome Husky Terra, and kitty Sassy.
My beverage is Yerba Mate iced tea (don't drink alcohol)
Energy food of choice is Chocolate, wheat- free pasta, and sushi!
I've been on the Heartless Heathers for 3 years

CORONER: How did you get involved with the Rose City Rollers?

I had first heard about Roller Derby from Jeffrey Wonderful ("other" founder of league) and how they wanted to start a team up in Portland. I had performed with Jeffrey in the past with Portland Organic Wrestling (POW). It was this crazy, campy, artist, Punk-rock wrestling show that showed for about 4tyears that started at Satyricon. Its was sort of WWE meets GWAR, with grotesque stuff being sprayed onto the audience mixed in with crazy acrobatic wrestling moves all wrapped up into artsy skits. At the end of all shows I was mostly covered in Beer or sour milk. Good times.

Sure, Derby sounded fun, and had met a few girls already skating, but I figured I should wait 'til I had health insurance. I never gave it a second thought 'til I went to the very first exhibition in October 2005. OMG I had no idea what the hell was happening, but something tingled inside and I was hooked! I wanted to know how to get involved, where the practices were, the whole sha-bang! Although I didn't start showing at practices till about January and just got "thrown in". This was all before we actually started having Fresh Meat tryouts, and most of us just "heard" about it and showed up.

I think you were the first person I ever associated with Portland Roller Derby, through the salon you worked at. I remember waiting for a haircut and hearing you talk about roller derby, Fresh Meat, the Heathers, and all of that and being rapt with sideways attention. Then you got drafted to the Heathers. What year was that? When you got drafted, was that when you changed from "Space Case" to Viagrrra Falls? In other words, what's your derby history to date?

Awwwe yes, I was on Fresh Meat for about 7 months before I got drafted to HH, then that was a long time to be on FM. I will be honest, I was a total train wreck when I first started with RCR. I really didn't know how to skate that well, tripped over my own skates, and everyone around me would get tangled up in my skates or land on top of me when I would fall in front of them. Not a pretty sight.

I had fallen in love with HH after attending a few of the parties and really connected with the girls personalities and style. It was totally me. I went home right away and e-mailed the captain, Vominatrix at the time, and told her I definitely wanted to be a Heather and would stay on FM until then. I happen to go through 3 drafts w/o getting picked. Then in August of that year was Rollercon, Derby convention in Vegas. I decided to go for 10 days (never again that long in LV) but learned how to REALLY skate and play derby. Mostly I think it finally brought up my confidence. I came back improved 10x's better and many noticed. 2 months later in October 2006, I was drafted to the HH.

Oh the name...I wasn't really feeling "spacecase" and wanted something more raw and wanted more of a reaction. I had heard of the name from a fellow league mate, Axle Blows, and couldn't stop thinking about it. So when I went to Rollercon I needed a change because I knew my derby "career" was shifting. Viagrrra Falls! at first I thought it was going to be temporary but it fit me and stuck. I stay hard no matter what and keep going, and going, and going.....

Did you skate a lot growing up?

Nope not really, went to the skate rink like maybe 4 times when younger then roller bladed for like a year is all.

I have always been athletic. Snowboarding, Surfing, Backpacking, Yoga, you name it. Although never was good a games

You are so solid, stellar even, at each position now, and are a lynchpin for the Heathers. When and how did you really hit your stride as a skater?

Ummm, Well probably last year. I had been to many skate camps, Derby conventions, private lessons and it finally started paying off. I had been getting more skate time, in which boosted my confidence but I had problems with stage fright and would falter. I think there was one game at a very crucial point, that I had scored 20 points for the first time ever, and helped to bring the spirits up for my team. We happen to have won that bout and I gotten MVP for that game. Overall I realized that my team DID believe and trust me but I needed to trust myself and them. The rest of that year, playing on Travel Team had helped me improve my skills further.

This year has really been the key point of my play. I feel more confident and when so many of my teammates had become injured or burnt out I felt I had to step up.

The Season's coming to a head. What is your perspective on what has transpired so far between the four teams, and what's ahead?

Wow, how much more balanced our level of intra-league play has become.

I'm really exited for the High Rollers to bring it out! They have always had great players but have been missing something.

What do you most look forward to doing when the season is over?

My season is not done yet. I do have a game in July with AoA playing the Key Areana in Seattle. Hopefully I will get a break after that. Then, OMG, surfing, camping, spending time with my "other" friends, hanging out with my dog...Im sure I can fill my time up!

Did you grow up around here? If not, where, and how did you get here?

I moved from Salt Lake City Utah, where I had been living for 10 years. Before that I was an Army Brat (DAD In the Army) and moved every 2-4 years since birth.

What are you occupied with outside of derby?

I've been a Hair artist for 12 years working full time at Salon & Spa Bliss.

Try to get in some yoga, weight training, Surfing, camping, snowboarding, Recovery, writing, meditation, walking the pooch, trying to find time for friends and family.

You've been busy with the league for so long - how do you keep your energy level up for both derby and life?

Wow its hard. Unmedicated hyper-mania. ;-} I do the best I can but sometimes I "crash and burn" and need to take a few days off.

Anything else fans and other skaters should know about flat-track roller derby, the Heathers, you?

Thanks!

2009 Championship Night Open Thread

Saturday the 27th is RCR's Season 4 Championship Bout. If you don't have tickets, you can order some here.

This year, for the first time in RCR history, the Heathers will not be vying for the top trophy. Paradoxically, this makes me happy in one small way: Saturday's bout will be a very low pressure experience for this long-term fan. I can slink into the anonymity afforded by the Expo Center, watch some drums and derby and not worry too much about anything, although I will have my favorites and I will be cheering for them.

The Heathers may or may not defeat the Guns 'n' Rollers yet again.

Recall that last April, the Heartless ones handed GnR a decisive and ignominious defeat.

Recall that in that same bout, Sump Pump landed in surgery for a fractured jaw, and that RCR players and fans alike banded together to help her through.

Since then, both teams have been further plagued by illness and injury, but surely the remaining Heathers, battered though they may be, will give their all. Just because they are heartless doesn't mean they don't have hearts. Cadavers will be there for them, and they will be there for Cadavers.

---

A spot in the championship bout has been a long time coming for the High Rollers: they have worked hard to get that spot, and they have earned that spot under the strong leadership of Mess-O-Potamia and Layla Smackdown.

Of course High Rollers face the juggernaut of the former-champion Betties, which has gained force and momentum as the year has progressed. One remembers the Betties' wobbly beginnings and their loss to the High Rollers in the season-opening seeding bout. And one can't but help remember from earlier this very month, the Betties' calm, methodical, come-from-behind steamrolling of the Guns 'n' Rollers.

Saturday is Anything Can Happen Day.

What say you?

See you at Expo and see you in the comments.

HEATHERS POR VIDA!

Tonight is Cheap Ticket Night

From the Ministry of Information:

Don't miss Fan Appreciation Night on Wednesday, June 24th where you can meet your favorite players in person and score a special discount on tickets. Just drop by any of these locations after 7:00pm on 6/24/09:


Nightlight Lounge (Southeast)
Kay's Bar (6903 SE Milwaukie Ave, Sellwood)
Rogue Distillery & Public House (Northwest) - Heathers Sponsor!
Beulahland Coffee & Alehouse (Northeast)
Oaks Park Skating Rink (Sellwood)

---

Update:

Elevated from the comments (snaps to the Mad Nader):

Fans in the 'Couve also have their own "Fan Appreciation Night" spot tonight:

Shanahan's Pub & Grill
209 W McLoughlin Blvd
Vancouver, WA

Remember: individual tickets are sold sans TicketsWest extortion fees (i.e. just $14), and there will be "buy-3-get-the-4th-free" deals, as well as (maybe) free RCR swag...

Help the Heathers Pick Up the Track, Thurs. 8:30 p.m.

Happy little volunteer opportunity:

This Thursday, be at the Oaks Park Hangar at 8:30 p.m. and you'll be able to help the Heathers and other civic-minded souls like yourself rip the taped-down boundaries off of that blue RCR track, chop the track down into liftable squares, and hoist those squares up into a truck where they will be neatly stacked for transport to the Expo Center for Saturday's big bout.

Bring some work gloves if you can. Beers are nice, too. Leave your didgeridoo at home.

I am sad to have to miss out on this track-raising due to a prior commitment, but tell Dancing Scott I said Hi.

Oregonian Article

Big full-color splashy feature on RCR in today's Oregonian O! section (not the sports section, of course, but whatever).

The usual human interest puff piece with a "hard times" twist.

But it's coverage before the big bout, and as Rocket Means says in the article, "If that doesn't sell, we're gonna be screwed."

Can we get a pull-quote on that?

The Docket

Here's the doin's:

The Rosebuds are having an outdoor skate on Saturday, June 20, followed by a "crafty session to make the championship trophy." You're probably not invited.

But you are invited to the big swingin' High Rollers' Hot Wheels Roller Disco Party that very night at 9 p.m., hosted at MotoCorsa Ducati Dealership, 2170 NW Wilson St.

Five bucks cover, three dollar beers, and mixed drinks for four smackers. Snacks.

This party has been months in the planning and promises to be spectacular. I can't make it, but tell Dancing Scott I said hi.

The Breakneck Betties deconstruct the GnR, 177 to 94. Post Mortem

Rose City Roller Derby fans certainly got their moneys worth last night at the Hangar. It was a hard fought throw down and the final score hardly reflects the drama on the track. A classic comeback story. A made for TV movie sort of thing, which my half ass notes, drunken fan perspective and junior college writing skills will struggle to tell. Like any good inside joke, you had to be there.

The Betties put a quick six points on the board with the first jam. You had to wonder if this was going to be the way the night going to go. Over the next three jams you could see the GnR had brought their “A” game with them. By the 4^th jam the GnR was up 20 to 6. And four jams in, the Betties appeared to be getting frustrated. The GnR continued to do the job, communicating in pack and controlling it, taking a comfortable 54 to 29 lead by the midway point of the first half. As we got closer to the end of the first half the Sin Bin was flooded with a sea of red, as the aggravated Betties picked up more and more penalties. It was 70 to 36 with two minutes left in the half, my designated “beat the crowd” departure point. As fate would have it, I missed the tipping point. The half closed after 18 jams with the GnR 70 to Betties 55.

As the second half began, the Betties had clearly found their “center” .Gone from their faces was the obvious frustration of the first half. They were on the comeback trail and after five second half jams had tied the score at 74. The Betties has managed to pull off a 38 to 4 run in the course of roughly six jams. You could see the pressure in the eyes of the GnR pack now. The Betties had returned to dominating the pack in the same way they did back in May. By jam 29 the Betties had a 100 to 74 lead over the GnR. There was no sign of them letting up. Over the next twelve jams the Betties would limit the GnR to 20 points and accumulate another 77 points for themselves. After 41 jams the Betties had 177 points to the GnR’s 94. The Betties are once again returning to the Championship bout, June 27^th at the Expo Center.

Two lousy paragraphs hardly does justice to the great plays and players in this bout. Since I’m no Elwood Bruise, I don’t have any factual stats to reflect efforts or heroics. Only the half baked impressions of who stood out in my mind. It’s also no secret I am not much of a Betties fan so I know I’ll fail to give proper props despite my efforts to play nicely with others.

On the GnR side, Blood Clottia has to be the “Iron Woman of Roller Derby”. I would swear she jammed every other jam last night. She racked up serious points as a jammer, dealt quite a few good blows and took some major shots. Including what looked like Licker pop’n her in the face in that critical 4^th jam.

Aura Brutalis was also a stand out. It felt like she and Clottia were just taking turns jamming during that first half. She is a fairly crafty jammer. With great blocking in the first half, she put up some major points for the GnR.

In the pack, Nepalm Beth, Viva, Smacks all put together a great first half. They had control of the pack and were running the floor. That first half, the GnR did a good job of sandwiching the Betties with walls of two in the front and back of the pack. They were talking and playing it smart, very aware of where the Betties Jammer was and creating holes for their own jammer. Sadly that didn’t last the whole 60 minutes.

As for those dang Betties, D. Konstructor and Rhea DeRange are two of the most dangerous jammers to face on the line. Both of them possess the ability to see a line through the pack and skate it hard. And per usual, that is what they did. Both played key roles with huge jams on the Betties comeback trail.

Licker is one of those Betties I struggle with the whole Love/Hate thing. Honestly she has some major jamming skills, she has the ability to literally “Hop” into a hole. She’s one tough lady and last night she had her war face on.

The blocking crew for the Betties as a whole deserves major kudos. It took the whole crew to turn the bout around. They managed to make the game time changes required to get the bout back to their style of play. The second half was that “Wall of Red” upfront and the GnR strung out with no way to be effective blockers or assist their jammers.

So the stage is set for the end of the season. The High Rollers will have their hands full with the Breakneck Betties in the battle for the Championship. Of course the Heathers faithful can expect a brutal match up against the GnR for the 3^rd place spot. (Insert some remember Sump Pump cliché here).

I know what I'd like to see. Hell, you probably already know what I'd like to see too. Do you think the High Rollers have what it takes to defeat the Betties “Derby Machine”? Will the injury riddled Heathers hand out another loss to the injury riddled GnR? Will all of this make for a highly rated, made for basic cable TV show? I guess we’ll have to theorize until it all plays itself out…June 27^th at the Expo Center.

Ya Know the Rules: The Pack (Part I)

Alright Cadavers, it’s been over a month since our last little rules discussion. Much of this post was drafted weeks ago, but with the release of the WFTDA 4.0 rules, I had to do a side-by-side comparison to see what if anything I’d been looking at had changed. For the sake of clarity I will refer to WFTDA 3.1 rules as either the “current” or “old” rules, while I will call 4.0 the “new” rules – and where the new rules vary from the current rules I’ll note it below.

I have it on good authority that the remainder of the home season (including the Championship) will be called under 3.1 rules. RCR will begin implementing 4.0 for the 2010 home league season and ALL future WFTDA-sanctioned inter-league bouts.

What this means is that there shouldn’t be too many surprises in how the refs officiate the rest of the season – what this does not mean is that we can always predict how the refs will call the game. Not a knock on the refs, but officiating roller derby is far from an exact science. Randomly pick any two fans who just witnessed the refs whistle, and you likely will have different opinions as to whether the “right” call was made. Those same two fans, witnessing one team’s strategic pack control tactics might disagree as to the effectiveness or legality of said strategy.

Some of that is just the nature of sports, but I believe that at least part of it is a lack of understanding, on the part of even some experienced fans, of some of the rules. Better understanding of the game and the rules makes the game more enjoyable to watch, hence the raison d’etre of this column.

So, once again I ask, Ya Know the Rules?

What is “The Pack”?

Rule 4.1.1 (same rule number under both new and old rules) defines the Pack as “the largest group of Blockers, skating in proximity, containing members from both teams." The new rules adds the words “in bounds” right before the word “Blockers”, which adds a little wrinkle, but as I say doesn’t apply to the remaining RCR intra-league bouts, and shouldn’t change the application of the rule in most instances.

Rule 4.1.1.1 and 4.1.1.3 (identical under new and old rules) further clarify what is already implied by 4.1.1 – Jammers are NOT part of the Pack, and in order to form a pack there must be at least one blocker from each team on the track at all times.

So, we know that the Pack is only comprised of Blockers, and there must be at least one Blocker from each team for there to even BE a pack, but what does “skating in proximity” mean? Rule 4.1.1.2 defines “in proximity” as skating no more than 10 feet in front or behind the nearest pack skater (the new rules delete the alternate measurement of “two strides” found in the old rules, and clarify that proximity is measured at the skaters hips).

Now, one of the obvious questions at this point is “what happens when two or more equally-sized clusters of skaters BOTH meet the criteria to be “the Pack”? While that is a HUGELY important question, the answer is rather complicated, made only more so by the significant changes in language (though not necessarily in the interpretation or application) between the new and old rules. I know some of you are dying to delve into this meaty topic, but you’ll have to wait for Part II of this topic (coming soon, I promise).

I first want to be sure that we are all on the same page as far as the Pack itself, and the consequences of skating outside of the Pack. Now that we know what “the Pack” is, let me ask you this question: is it illegal for a Blocker to skate outside the Pack? The answer: Not necessarily; it depends on how far outside the Pack the Blocker skates.

There really are two degrees of skating “outside the Pack”. The first we already know from the discussion above – skating more than 10 feet away from the nearest pack skater. This is your basic “out of proximity/out of pack” skater. What’s interesting about this is that skating outside the Pack is not illegal, and I can find no specific penalty that would apply to a skater engaging opponents or assisting teammates while out of proximity (i.e. more than 10 feet from the nearest pack skater). In fact, at various points throughout the rules (new and old) it is clear that skaters are allowed to hit opponents and assist teammates, even if they are outside the Pack, as long as they are “still in play”.

What does “still in play” mean? That is the second, and more severe degree of “skating outside the Pack”. If skating 11-20 feet away from the nearest pack skater is “out of proximity/out of pack” (though NOT illegal in any way), then skating more than 20 feet from the nearest pack skater is not just out of proximity, but “out of play”. Rule 4.3.3.1 (identical under new and old rules) is where this is defined with the following language, “A skater who is 20 feet in front of or behind the Pack may receive an out of play warning…once out of play, a skater must yield the right-of-way to the opposing Jammer…any engagement, including passive/positional blocking, can result in a penalty.”

On page 9, figure 3 of the old rules (page 11, figure 1 of the new rules) there is a helpful illustration showing Blockers in the Pack, Blockers outside of the pack though still in play, and Blockers who are out of play.

Though nowhere (in the new or old rules) is it written quite as clearly as I’d like, there is a term that helps keep this straight that is referred to a number of times throughout the rules: the “engagement zone.” The “engagement zone” is that area of the track that extends from 20 feet behind the rearmost Blocker in the pack, to 20 feet in front of the foremost Blocker in the pack. Thus the “engagement zone” is the entirety of the pack, plus a 20 foot buffer on either end. It is legal and perfectly a-ok to engage opponents and assist teammates anywhere within this “engagement zone”, but once a Blocker leaves this area she becomes “out of play”, subject to penalty.

So, the key then is that Blockers need to stay within the “engagement zone” if they want to engage. Simple enough, but here is where our discussion moves from simple rules analysis to its actual impact on gameplay. When a Jammer is in the midst of the pack, the opposing Blockers will obviously be looking to stop her – hit her, knock her down, slow her momentum so a teammate can knock her down, or positionally block her. This is all beginner derby strategy.

But inevitably, with the help of her teammates, that opposing Jammer is going to make her way through the Pack and break through. Your Blocker (let’s use Sol Train as an example) wants to keep chasing and harassing her, even as that Jammer is trying to speed away. As long as Sol can stay within 10 feet of the nearest Pack skater, she’s still in proximity (thus still in the Pack) and can keep engaging that opposing Jammer. She can even keep the chase up outside of the pack, as rule 4.3.2.3 says in both the new and old rules (“Skaters who are not part of the pack…but are still in play, may block and assist.”). But once Sol gets more than 20 feet from the nearest pack skater, she has to yield and return to the pack, lest she pick up a penalty.

But wouldn’t it be nice if Sol Train could keep harassing the opposing Jammer for a few more feet? Maybe one more hit would knock her down, or slow her enough for the rest of the pack to swarm up and devour her. Now is the time to implement what I like to call “extending the Pack”.

Recall that the “engagement zone” is measured not from some abstract center point in the middle of the pack, but rather from the “closest pack skater” (let’s say it’s Titania). Recall too that the Pack is defined by “proximity” between the skaters. So, you can extend the pack (and thus the legal engagement zone) by having Titania move up to the very limit of “proximity” with the closest pack skater behind her (oh, we’ll say it’s Mobi-Wan). That’s an additional 9 feet of engagement zone!

Not enough? Have your farthest away pack skater (the one all the way in the back of the pack; let’s say it’s Teq“Kill”ya) race up and skate 9 feet in front of Titania. Since Titania was still in proximity of Mo, Titania was still in the pack. With “Kill”ya in proximity of Titania, she too is still in the pack. BAM you’ve got ANOTHER 9 feet. Sol has probably destroyed that Jammer by now!

By having your Blockers leap-frog each other, but remain within proximity of the next closest pack skater, you’ve managed to extend that engagement zone 18 feet! Theoretically, there is nothing in the rules to prohibit a pack that looks like a single-file line of Blockers, each one skating 9 feet from one another – think bucket-brigade on skates! Obviously the opposing Blockers aren’t likely to help you extend that pack, but as long as your last Blocker (in our scenario we our last Blocker was Mo) is still within 9 feet of the opposing Blocker who is still in the Pack, then ALL the Heathers' blockers are still in the Pack.

Hopefully you can see just how a smart, coordinated team can control the pack to keep the opposing Jammer within the engagement zone, getting every last opportunity to lay a hit on her.

Conversely controlling the pack defensively (“shrinking the Pack”, as I call it), can literally yank the engagement zone right out from under the opposing Blockers, thus forcing them to yield or take a penalty if they hit your Jammer. You can probably already see how this might be done, but there are some twists and caveats – all of which I’ll address in a future Ya Know the Rules post.

As always, I welcome discussion in the comments!

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