"Doppelganger at the Hangar" release party, March 27.

From the Ministry of Information, this ass-kicking good news:

Cosmic Monkey is hosting a release party for the latest RCR comic book, True Tales of Roller Derby: Doppleganger at the Hangar, Friday March 27th 7-9 pm at Cosmic Monkey. Its being promoted by Monkey and Oni Press, one of the top independent comic publishers in the country. To date, there is no other published comic book in the country featuring real derby ladies. Once again RCR is trail-blazing.

Please come! The book will be available for purchase, skates are allowed and there will be refreshments and a good time.

The illustrator, Dennis Culver will be there as well as the writers (the Heathers' own) Titania and Nader Absood, and colorist extraordinaire, Slambo!"

Again:

5335 NE Sandy
7-9 Friday March 27th



Synopsis with no spoilers: Goodie Two-Skates is missing! And who are these new skaters--the freakishly perfect freshies that have suddenly shown up? The Wheels of Justice have to find Goodie and get to the bottom of this mystery before Nationals, or Drillmaster and the Icy Blonde will succeed in corrupting the team forever! It's mad science and wicked skating skills courtesy of Portland's own Rose City Rollers!

G'n'R 118, HRMF 105 open thread

Dang. Blood Clottia and penalties are em-effers (I think Blood Clottia is an em-effer in a good way, unless you're skating against her).

Anybody else want to type about the bout?

UPDATE: Elwood's recap is up.

'NOTHER UPDATE: Cuban Refugee has some good photos here.

High Rollers v. Guns 'n' Rollers open thread

photo by Zeb Andrews.

I haven't heard much about what has been going on in the practice barn with these two teams, but I'll assume that the High Rollers have kept pushing in their team-building efforts, and that the Guns 'n' Rollers haven't let up since January 24 either. G'n'R didn't exactly shine in the season opener, but their roster is still strong and they have a coach who should know what he's doing.

I favor the High Rollers in this one, and I'll be parking my ass down in front of the Players' Club, but as with Heathers v. Betties, I don't expect this one to be a rout.

I beg you to differ in the comments section.

Help find Layla Smackdown's missing purse

Extraordinary bummer: Layla Smackdown, beloved skater for the High Rollers and the Wheels of Justice, sets her purse down for a few minutes at the Heartless Heathers Anti-Valentine's Day Party and returns to find it gone:

My purse was taken on Saturday night from the Anti VD party.

It's a small rectangle clutch, about a foot long by 6 inches. It's entirely encrusted with beads. The pattern is multi-colored circles, some bigger than others. It's kinda tripped out. It's got a chunky blue zipper, and is lined with red velvet.

This purse is ONE OF A KIND, because I made it. If you know who took it, or see someone around with it, it is ABSOLUTELY MINE. They can keep the shitty make-up, my cell phone (now useless) and the approximately 16 dollars that was in there. Hell, they can even keep the half pack of Bubbalicious Watermelon Wave I really really want the purse back. No pictures exist, so here's a ghetto paint rendering of it (below). Imagine it like this, but way cooler, and covered entirely with beads.

Please contact me if you have any leads.

xoxo
Layla
layla.smackdown@gmail.com

Come out and party with the Heathers Saturday night

Got that? Saturday, February 21, 2009 at 9:00pm - 1:00am
1322 SE Water Ave, Portland, OR
Suggested donation for this funder: $5.00
Buy some raffle tickets too!

I'm going to buy some new underwear for this event.

Bout pics: Steve Price is uploading

here.

I bet I know how this ended:

Happy Valentine's Day - Heathers 131, Betties 107

Kanna and George with George's sign, the beauty of which is not adequately captured by my cell phone camera

Elwood has a good recap with stats here.

Down Goodie, Ringer, Vom, Viagrrra, and with Firecrotch sidelined during the bout, the Heathers' superior bench, stamina, strategy, and team cohesion combined to produce a big victory. Defensive and offensive games were both impressive.

And I won't be saying HPV any more because Megan tipped me off about human papillomavirus. Where have I been?

Anyway, your commentary is requested.

Stand by the Jams

Look at those Heathers:



and



Vids via Intendeduse1.

Don't Expect a St. Valentine's Day Massacre

Graphic by George


Sure the Heathers vanquished all foes in the season opener, and the Betties crumbled against each team they were up against, but don't roll into the Oaks Park Hangar Saturday night expecting the top-seeded Heathers to demolish the Betties.

We've been hearing murmurs from the practice shed that the Betties we will be seeing on February 14 won't necessarily be the same team we saw in January, one big possible surprise being the return of D Konstructor to the Betties' already strong jammer squad.

As for the Heartless Heathers, they continue to refine their strategies and build their team cohesiveness, factors that proved so impressive and powerful in their 2008 championship and in 2009's debut bout.

But neither they nor their fans can afford to be complacent. This may just be a tough bout.

Clips of Heathers vs. HRMF by Intendeduse1

These clips have a lot to recommend them. I doubt that our blogger style sheets will accommodate the vids' full width, so be sure to click through to youtube if you can and rate the vids up for the videographer, Intendeduse1.

New York Times Mag feature on the Gotham Girls

Photo by Finlay Mackay for the New York Times

Worth a read:

You Just Can't Keep the Girls from Jamming

"The rapid growth has made the game more competitive. Suzy Hotrod, whose real name is Jean Schwarzwalder, still dabs lipstick on her cheeks before she skates, but that was the extent of the theatrical gestures on display at the nationals. The country’s eight best teams had come to Portland, Ore., not to perform but to win. In its 70-odd-year history, roller derby has been many things, but never until perhaps now has it been a legitimate sport."

The Lowdown on Season Four

via RCR on MySpace:

All regulation home bouts are held at Rose City's private facility, "The Hangar" @ Oaks Park (unless indicated otherwise). All bouts take place on Saturday evenings at 6:00pm, regardless of location.

Feb 14 – Heartless Heathers vs Break Neck Betties
Feb 28 – Guns N Rollers vs High Rollers
Mar 28 - Wheels of Justice (all-star team) vs. Seattle's Rat City Roller Girls @ Expo Center
Apr 18 – Heartless Heathers vs Guns N Rollers
Apr 25 – High Rollers vs Break Neck Betties
May 9 – Heartless Heathers vs High Rollers
May 16 – Guns N Rollers vs Break Neck Betties
June 6 - Semi-finals #1
June 13 - Semi-finals #2
June 27 – Championship bout @ Expo Center
Oct 24 - Wheels of Justice vs. TBD @ Expo Center
Dec 5 - WOJ vs. Olympia's Oly Rollers

Heathers v. Betties on Valentine's day. Ain't that sweet?

WFTDA rankings say nothing?

The new WFTDA '08 4th quarter rankings came out today. They are now using their four region system which clearly shows NO RCR ranking in the West. YIKES!

Read for yourselves...how is the hosting city for Nationals "ineligible for ranking"???

Psssst! ECRG in the house!

ECRG is coming up for a friendly Scrimmage at the Hangar this Saturday at arround 5:30 to 6pm. Sneak on down for a great friendly game with our sisters from the south. Festivities will follow. B.E.B.F.E

Noz...out

On a personal note,

Who's a geek? I'm a geek:



I had to laugh when I saw what numbers were on my season tickets. Being on Teq "Kill" Ya's mailing list has its advantages.

Also, on a somewhat related note, I'm way past beginning to suspect that "superfan" and "huge superfan" are designations in RCR's CRM database of fans - I've been hearing those terms a lot these past few months.

To which I'll also add that it's fun being a superfan.

Heathers take the mini-tournament!

You were there, of course, to see that the Heathers have only deepened and broadened their skills as individuals and as a team since they took the 2008 RCR crown.

In the first half-bout of last night's mini-tournament, the Guns N Rollers conked the Break Neck Betties 47 - 35.

Next up, we saw the Heathers defeat the ever-stronger High Rollers 78 - 42. Whew!

In the consolation bout for third seeding, the High Rollers went on to put down the Betties 58 - 35.

Which led us to the final of the seeding tournament, where the Heathers blew out the Guns and Rollers 69 - 30.

Going into the evening, some had expected things to be a little less lopsided. There is a load of talent on each team and, based on distribution of strong skaters alone, one would expect a very competitive 2009 season. But things haven't quite started out that way.

Why not? HH's Superior team cohesion (the Heathers are a well-functioning unit) is one guess, and the depth of the Heathers bench is another. It was a sight to see.

Your insights?

See you all at the bout. HPV!

One from the olden days, just because:


Photo by Aitch

Cadaver Pre-Funk @ WFKC

Just a reminder, as usual a number of us will be meeting at the World Famous Kenton Club before the bout this Saturday - let's say, around 3ish.

In addition to their long history of supporting our beloved Heathers - and even longer history with roller derby - the WFKC has stunningly cheap drinks, great BBQ, and is only a quick MAX ride away from the Expo Center, so you can enjoy an adult beverage without the worry of driving - or paying for parking at the Expo.

Hope to see you all there!

Better Homes and Gardens . . . and Roller Derby

Volunteer opportunities a knockin'

Tonight (Jan 22) around 8:30 at the Oaks Park Hangar, the Heathers would love some assistance picking up the skating track for transport to the Expo Center to Saturday's bout. I hope to see you there.

Ruby Bruiseday reports that Friday she will be at the Expo Center around 2 - 6 p.m. to decorate the Ice Box. "If any ice-boxers want to come and
decorate that would be great. Cheer Loud!"

Ringer chimes in on other things Cadavers can help with:

"We also have bout jobs on Friday and Saturday. We could use people to help with those if they can:

Friday 1/23 9-1 LIGHTS
Friday 1/23 1-3 Floor
Friday 1/23 3-6 Floor/Track
Saturday 1/24 10p-done LIGHTS"

As not what your Heathers can do for you - ask what you can do for your Heathers.