Slice and dice these performances, if you will -
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
How did we miss this?
Very amusing, long, detailed discussion of the Heartless Heathers overtime victory over Grave Danger at 17:40 of last week's Derby Deeds podcast.
They start talking about Rose/Rat 4x4 around 16:40. Derby Deeds is always a good listen.
Nice Jules Doyle still of a White Flight leaping start on that page too.
Oh, say, tonight the Wheels of Justice go against the Denver Roller Dolls at 8 p.m. Pacific. If you're not in Bremerton for the Wild West Showdown, you can watch a live stream at the WWS site or at DNN.
HEATHERS POR VIDA!
They start talking about Rose/Rat 4x4 around 16:40. Derby Deeds is always a good listen.
Nice Jules Doyle still of a White Flight leaping start on that page too.
Oh, say, tonight the Wheels of Justice go against the Denver Roller Dolls at 8 p.m. Pacific. If you're not in Bremerton for the Wild West Showdown, you can watch a live stream at the WWS site or at DNN.
HEATHERS POR VIDA!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Babble on PiG. Babble on.
Perhaps it's the inspiration I feel on National PiG Day that has gotten me off my lazy blogger ass or maybe it's just being done with the loathsome month of February that has lit my fire. Either way it's been a while since I posted anything, so here we go.
Things I've missed:
Heathers lose to those High Rollers in Bout 2. I like to think it's early in the season and things will change. I pray we don't have another year of the Heartless ones being Gang Green's B!tch. Break the curse in 0'11!
WoJ whoops up on Detroit. Well...thank god! It seems to me, if they can dominate the crap out of the #1 from the North Central division, they should probably be able to take out the #4 which they did handily. This further illustrated that WooF Duh's divisional system is broken. You validate me. Thank YOU!
Heathers win in Seattle? EPIC! I had a huge dopey derby drunk grin on my face as I strolled through that arena after the big win against Grave Danger. As any long time reader knows, I think 30 minute bouts are for sucks, so in my mind I am waiting for the second half which will be played out here April 24th at the Memorial Coliseum.
Then we had handsome George's shitstorm. (Literally)
I didn't agree with George's take, as noted in the comment string but I do support his right to say what he needs to say. I will also admit that there were lulz, lots and lots of lulz as I read his post.
There seems to be a lot of a "Stay Positive", T-Ball-esque, groovy love vibe that surrounds derby. That makes sense if you are in a league or on a team. You are creating a supporting atmosphere to develop talent and create this unified thing. We are just fans. We buy tickets, craploads of merch, floor tiles and drinks, just not your always positive bullshit and hype. Though we all come together as Rose City fans for the All Star events, Intraleague play means some people I like...are rooting against my team. I get that. It makes sense to my dumbass. It's a sport with teams playing for a win and a record, for a place and bragging rights.
This blog is also not an Official Rose City Rollers blog. We are not brownshirts for "the League", we are just fans. I like to think of myself as a true sports fan of a REAL sport, Roller Derby. That being said, I expect to have the rights of any real sports fan. I want to call bullshit when I see it. I want to love my team and hate my team depending on what I see from my fans perspective. There needs to be a critical eye somewhere and though sometimes we may say things you don't like, someone has to say it.
This is a Fan Driven Blog.
As for George? Well, he stood by his statements and took his punishment from Scald herself. It doesn't look to me like she needs any help defending her honour.
The picture was stolen from Kanna, George's awesome Derby Wife, over on the social network. Hopefully that is enough vengeance for RCCC (Rose City Chest Crappers...read that comment thread, it's seriously kinky shit.)
The only other option we really have is Censorship...
Speaking of Censorship, Wild West Showdown is this weekend up in Bremerton. Our WoJsters will be playing three bouts over the course of the first two days, of this three day event. They take on the "classy" looking team from Denver Friday night. Saturday they do double duty taking on Philly @ 4pm and the Ratz @ 8pm. With two main tracks, 17 WFTDA teams in the house and a crazy challenge bout track, it is a mind numbing 3 day Derby overdose. Provided of course that you don't show up at the venue with a copy of Hellarad on your person.
Yes, the rumors are all true, some Kitsap County Commissioner with a stick up his or her ass found a copy of the d-bag rag last year and has banned the "Worlds Most Ignacious Skate Zine" from this year's event. Of course the ban is seen as somewhat of a challenge. You see, you can not have a copy of the zine on your person, but you can use your person to show some support of the Hella-crew without jeopardizing the SCRV or the event.
On Saturday March 5th, it's Hellarad Appreciation Day. If you have a Hellarad shirt? Wear it or buy one from Cruz Skateshop. You can hit up my friends at Flat Track Revolution for an awesome Hellarad hip bag. They will be selling their stylish wears at the event. Of course if you are low on dough, there is the Hellarad name badge game. They can ban the zine but they can't ban the lulz.
We'll play catch up after this weekend. Travel safe, Derby Fans.
Things I've missed:
Heathers lose to those High Rollers in Bout 2. I like to think it's early in the season and things will change. I pray we don't have another year of the Heartless ones being Gang Green's B!tch. Break the curse in 0'11!
WoJ whoops up on Detroit. Well...thank god! It seems to me, if they can dominate the crap out of the #1 from the North Central division, they should probably be able to take out the #4 which they did handily. This further illustrated that WooF Duh's divisional system is broken. You validate me. Thank YOU!
Heathers win in Seattle? EPIC! I had a huge dopey derby drunk grin on my face as I strolled through that arena after the big win against Grave Danger. As any long time reader knows, I think 30 minute bouts are for sucks, so in my mind I am waiting for the second half which will be played out here April 24th at the Memorial Coliseum.
Then we had handsome George's shitstorm. (Literally)
I didn't agree with George's take, as noted in the comment string but I do support his right to say what he needs to say. I will also admit that there were lulz, lots and lots of lulz as I read his post.
There seems to be a lot of a "Stay Positive", T-Ball-esque, groovy love vibe that surrounds derby. That makes sense if you are in a league or on a team. You are creating a supporting atmosphere to develop talent and create this unified thing. We are just fans. We buy tickets, craploads of merch, floor tiles and drinks, just not your always positive bullshit and hype. Though we all come together as Rose City fans for the All Star events, Intraleague play means some people I like...are rooting against my team. I get that. It makes sense to my dumbass. It's a sport with teams playing for a win and a record, for a place and bragging rights.
This blog is also not an Official Rose City Rollers blog. We are not brownshirts for "the League", we are just fans. I like to think of myself as a true sports fan of a REAL sport, Roller Derby. That being said, I expect to have the rights of any real sports fan. I want to call bullshit when I see it. I want to love my team and hate my team depending on what I see from my fans perspective. There needs to be a critical eye somewhere and though sometimes we may say things you don't like, someone has to say it.
This is a Fan Driven Blog.
As for George? Well, he stood by his statements and took his punishment from Scald herself. It doesn't look to me like she needs any help defending her honour.
The picture was stolen from Kanna, George's awesome Derby Wife, over on the social network. Hopefully that is enough vengeance for RCCC (Rose City Chest Crappers...read that comment thread, it's seriously kinky shit.)
The only other option we really have is Censorship...
Speaking of Censorship, Wild West Showdown is this weekend up in Bremerton. Our WoJsters will be playing three bouts over the course of the first two days, of this three day event. They take on the "classy" looking team from Denver Friday night. Saturday they do double duty taking on Philly @ 4pm and the Ratz @ 8pm. With two main tracks, 17 WFTDA teams in the house and a crazy challenge bout track, it is a mind numbing 3 day Derby overdose. Provided of course that you don't show up at the venue with a copy of Hellarad on your person.
Yes, the rumors are all true, some Kitsap County Commissioner with a stick up his or her ass found a copy of the d-bag rag last year and has banned the "Worlds Most Ignacious Skate Zine" from this year's event. Of course the ban is seen as somewhat of a challenge. You see, you can not have a copy of the zine on your person, but you can use your person to show some support of the Hella-crew without jeopardizing the SCRV or the event.
On Saturday March 5th, it's Hellarad Appreciation Day. If you have a Hellarad shirt? Wear it or buy one from Cruz Skateshop. You can hit up my friends at Flat Track Revolution for an awesome Hellarad hip bag. They will be selling their stylish wears at the event. Of course if you are low on dough, there is the Hellarad name badge game. They can ban the zine but they can't ban the lulz.
We'll play catch up after this weekend. Travel safe, Derby Fans.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tuesday Heathers Googling
A gentleman named Dave Hammargren enjoyed his night of derby at the Rose/Rat bouts, as he describes at The Blog Without a Name:
The bout of the night turned out to be the third match-up where Grave Danger took on the Heartless Heathers. Thirty minutes of derby action wasn’t enough for this one and “sudden death” was needed tied 82 all as regulation ended. The Heartless Heathers forced the overtime period with a miracle final jam and rode the momentum to another big jam in the “sudden death” to claim a hard fought victory. All in all, quite an exciting night of derby action.
Over at YouTube, emilybee1 uploaded a nice little clip of White Flight jamming against Carmen Getsome in the aforementioned match-up. Carmen takes a beating from Sol Train and Mercy before finally taking lead. Whitey is a joy to watch as always, leaping off the line, tailing Carmen closely and forcing a call with barely a pass.
And lest we forget, it's damn near party time.
Go show the Heathers all your hot monkey love.
The bout of the night turned out to be the third match-up where Grave Danger took on the Heartless Heathers. Thirty minutes of derby action wasn’t enough for this one and “sudden death” was needed tied 82 all as regulation ended. The Heartless Heathers forced the overtime period with a miracle final jam and rode the momentum to another big jam in the “sudden death” to claim a hard fought victory. All in all, quite an exciting night of derby action.
Over at YouTube, emilybee1 uploaded a nice little clip of White Flight jamming against Carmen Getsome in the aforementioned match-up. Carmen takes a beating from Sol Train and Mercy before finally taking lead. Whitey is a joy to watch as always, leaping off the line, tailing Carmen closely and forcing a call with barely a pass.
And lest we forget, it's damn near party time.
Go show the Heathers all your hot monkey love.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
If you go to one party this year,
make it this one:
From the Heathers' FB:
Love 'em or leave 'em with a night hosted by your favorite cold hearted ladies - The Heartless Heathers! Complete with full bar, music, dancing, skate-able floor, and the notorious games and attractions that have made these parties go down in infamy over the last six years. Don't miss the spanking booth, Human Wheel of MISfortune, Anti-Valetine's video studio, and much more!
$7 suggested donation at the door. 21 and over.
Sounds promising.
The action happens Saturday, February 26 at 9:00pm - February 27 at 3:00am at DUMHO Space (SE 2nd & Hawthorne). Very convenient by bus, by the way.
From the Heathers' FB:
Love 'em or leave 'em with a night hosted by your favorite cold hearted ladies - The Heartless Heathers! Complete with full bar, music, dancing, skate-able floor, and the notorious games and attractions that have made these parties go down in infamy over the last six years. Don't miss the spanking booth, Human Wheel of MISfortune, Anti-Valetine's video studio, and much more!
$7 suggested donation at the door. 21 and over.
Sounds promising.
The action happens Saturday, February 26 at 9:00pm - February 27 at 3:00am at DUMHO Space (SE 2nd & Hawthorne). Very convenient by bus, by the way.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Big ol’ Betty Victory
Okay, I’m finally getting caught up on my blogging. Sorry for being so far behind…
Well, unfortunately I was unable to make it to last Friday’s Heathers’ scrimmage, but I hear that it was the total blowout that I was expecting. So I don’t feel too bad about missing it, but I did catch the Bettie vs. G’nR bout the following evening. This was yet another massive blowout. I wasn’t surprised, as that was what I was expecting. G’nR has been gutted of its star players by the Travel Team Only option that has also claimed our beloved JeLLyPiG and my lovely derby wife Kanna this season (or at least for the past weekend). Therefore I didn’t expect much from G’nR when I showed up at the hangar on Saturday. My expectations were confirmed soon after the first whistle blew. And man, did it ever blow!
I’ve been hearing MASSIVE amounts of hype surrounding Scald Eagle, so I was really curious to see what she was all about. Apparently Scald Eagle was originally on the Betties, but then switched to the Guns and Rollers amid some drama that derby girls are so well noted for. What I noticed was that Scald Eagle, much like her team G’nR, never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity. What I mean by that is that there were so many times that she got lead jammer, yet failed to score a single point. Twice I saw her trip over what appeared to be her own skates, and once she fell after bumping into one of her own teammates (jam #13). All of those incidents took place after she established lead jammer status. Also, she receives way too many penalties to begin to live up to the hype that I hear people saying about her. Sorry, but in my opinion I don’t think that Scald Eagle is the magic bullet that G’nR needs this season.
The Betties defense was awesome (oh my god, am I saying a second nice thing about the Betties in the same day??? WTF?!?!). Even when G’nR would find themselves in a powerjam situation, the Betties would keep them from scoring. Take jam #15 for example – Harajuke Girl found herself in a powerjam situation with all four of her blockers. The Betties only had two blockers on the track. Yet the Betties kept G’nR from scoring that entire jam. And that didn’t just happen in Jam #15, either.
I’ll save you the pain of going through my notes jam-by-jam and describing how G’nR missed opportunity after opportunity. There’s no reason to beat a dead, smelly horse. Couple that that with the fact that the Betties were on fire that evening, and you have the makings of another epic G’nR ass whipping. Final score was Betties 209 to G’nR 73 (no, that’s NOT a typo). I chatted with a cool, calm, and collective coach Mr. DeRange briefly in the parking lot after the bout. He nonchalantly mentioned as he rolled a cigarette “George, I tried to hold back and take it easy on them and tried not to score so many points, but I can only do so much!”
So this Friday at the hangar we have our very own WOJ taking on the Detroit Derby Girls (8:00 PM), followed by the Heathers vs. the High Rollers the following evening (6:00 PM). I may let my lovely derby wife Kanna use my season pass for Friday, but you better bet your bottom dollar that I’ll be there on Saturday to see the Heathers take on the High Rollers. I have a shirt picked out for that evening already!
Heathers Por Vida!
What a season opener!
Okay, I know I’m a little bit late with this recap, but it’s just a busy time of year for me. The season opener at the Coliseum was phenomenal, in my opinion! I loved everything about it. If you were a photographer, you were singing the blues, but if you’re a volunteer you loved not having to set up the lights. Also, the location couldn’t be beat. I can stagger home drunk from there no problem. Anyway, on to the bout recap(s).
The first of the mini-bouts was the much anticipated matchup between the Heartless Heathers and the Guns 'n Rollers. G’nR is looking really bad this season (and I don’t mean “bad” in a good way), while the Heathers are looking great. So this bout was the total blowout that I was predicting. It started off with each team gaining a few points each jam, but G’nR trailing behind slightly. Then, as early as jam #5 the Blast Unicorn found herself in a powerjam situation and gained 20 points for the Heathers. What ensued after that was an ass kicking of epic proportions. The Heathers have such strong jammers and such effective blockers, that they made G’nR look like the Rosebuds out there.
When the Heathers say that they have successfully combined the new talent with the old, they’re not just feeding you a line of bullshit. It’s the truth! D-Day, TeqKillYa, and Sol Train are as effective as ever. Even the not-so-new-yet-not-so-old Heathers really shined. Blast Unicorn, Butcher Block, White Flight, and She Rex all looked strong. Some of our newest team members really impressed me that evening. Mercy had no problem getting lead jam again and again. She makes it look easy out there, and I expect her to emerge from this season as one of the Heathers’ shining stars.
The second mini-bout of the evening was the Breakneck Bettie vs. the High Rollers. This was a much more evenly matched bout. The Betties are looking really good this season. Mr. DeRange is their coach and in my opinion is doing an excellent job of honing the Betties’ skills on the track. This was a close bout with several lead changes. I need to mention that Layla Smackdown of the High Rollers was on fire that night! Her blocking was amazing! If she plays like that all season, she’s going to be tough to get around. Finally the High Rollers managed to win by two points in the final jam. It was a real crowd pleaser.
The third bout hardly even warrants mentioning. It matched the champion High Rollers against the sorry-looking Guns 'n Rollers. The final score was High Rollers 327 to G’nR 2 (and no, that’s NOT a typo). I felt that the High Rollers should have given G’nR a fighting chance by strapping skates on me and Kanna and sending us out there. We still would have won, but at least the score wouldn’t have been so lopsided.
The final mini-bout of the evening was the most exciting for me personally. It was our beloved Heartless Heathers vs. the Breakneck Betties. Sol Train is as amazing as ever. As early as jam #2 she was wielding her amazing ass and blocking like nobody’s business. But alas, the Betties were looking really strong that evening and pulled ahead early in the bout. There were a few lead changes and the score was close, which is always a great thing for a fan. The pace of this bout was much faster that the first bout that the Heathers played that evening. I felt as if the Betties were luring the Heathers into a speed skating game. Sol Train was tossed out in jam #15, but it wasn’t for anything “fun”. Just some boring technical reason like she had too many fouls or some crap like that. The Blast Unicorn was sent to box for elbowing (which I honestly don’t think that she did) in jam #18, and that really sealed the fate for the Heathers. I have to hand it to the Betties this season, they’re looking good (did I actually just say that??).
So there you have it, Heathers fans - an exciting season opener at a great new venue. Unfortunately these were just mini-bouts that have no bearing on the season standings. But it was great to see what the teams are going to look like this season. And I have to say once again – I LOVE THE COLISEUM!
Heathers Por Vida
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Looking strong in 2011
Well die-hard Heathers fans, the start of a whole new season is drawing near. This year we have new captains, new players, and a new venue to try out. I'm sure that I'm not alone in my excitement at the prospect of another great season of derby! In anticipation of this auspicious event, I had the opportunity to throw a few questions at one of our new captains, TeqKillYa. This is what she had to say:
George: You have a number of new players on the roster this season. What can the fans expect to see from the "rookies" in 2011?
TeqKillYa: We do have a number of new icy-blooded Heartless Heathers this season! Our “rookies” are a combination of ladies who are new to derby, as well as a couple of transfers from other leagues or, in the case of White Flight, a transfer from another RCR team. So, as a whole, the “rookies” are quite varied in skill. Even the newest ones have now been skating with the team and league for some time and are 100% up to speed. The fans can expect to see some really exciting play from these ladies – we have very tenacious jammers as well as hard-hitting blockers. I joked in the last draft that we got the biggest and the smallest draftees – Mercy and Bump’R Stick’R – and that is just one example of the varied range of skill, as well as body type and strengths. I’m excited to see them all in action and know our fans will love them! Our fans are truly the best!
George: Some of the Heather stalwarts retired last season. How do you see this changing the Heathers' style of play (if at all)?
TeqKillYa: Yep – as with the rest of the teams, we had our share of “retirees” last season – especially with the new league “travel team only” policy, where many RCR team skaters left their home teams to skate exclusively for RCR travel teams. We’re lucky however, because those skilled travel team players are still actively coaching the Heathers, and so I expect our tried-and-true strategies to still be in place - although infused with new perspective, energy and twists!
George: Being a Heathers fan may make me biased, but I think that the Heathers look really promising this season. How do you feel that you stack up against the other league teams?
TeqKillYa: OK, I may be incredibly biased as well! But, looking at our team – I think we’re pretty stacked with talent. We have skaters who have been with the team since the first bout in 2005 and tons of fresh skaters as well and the mix is just incredibly exciting to watch. This is a building year for all of the league teams and I think we’re no different, but building can be an opportunity to rise to the occasion and really come out swinging. We’re going to do well this season - it gives me icy chills just thinking about it!
George: There is a long-standing heated debate among your fans as to how to properly spell your name. We've seen it spelled Teqkillia, Ta Kill Ya, Teqkill Ya, and a half dozen other ways. How do you properly spell your name?
TeqKillYa: Ha ha – I’m glad THIS is what keeps my fans up at night (not wondering if I’m a robot, or if I bleed tequila or blue ice?). The true spelling of my name is TeqKillYa – but I’m not picky about it. I actually take the most pride in my name making many people unable to say the word “tequila” anymore. You don’t know how many times people come to me laughing/complaining about their bar experiences after they’ve tried to order a drink!
There you have it Heathers fans – all the makings of a fine season. It all kicks off Saturday January 15th at the Memorial Coliseum. Doors open at 5:00 PM, so don't be late to grab your seat at this exciting new venue!
Heathers Por Vida
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Vicious bout
The Cherry City Derby Girls brought their "A”" game last night in a bout where they faced off against a mixed roster of High Rollers and Guns 'n Rollers newbies (called the Rolling Stoners). I expected stiff competition from Cherry City, but I wasn't expecting them to perform as well as they did. The first jam started off with Rose City veteran Edie Disorder getting a good block in for Cherry City and preventing Texine from getting lead jammer status. Cherry City obtained lead jammer and started the bout off with a 4-0 lead. They would hold the point lead for the rest of the bout. Defense was tight from both teams, and this was a low scoring bout. Texine, Napolian Blownapart, Kickassedy, and Havanna Good Time jammed for the Rolling Stoners, but had a tough time breaking through Cherry City's defense. At halftime the score was only 27 – 38 Cherry City.
Squid Vicious put in an amazing performance as Cherry City's star jammer for the evening. She definitely gets my nod for MVP. There were only a few high scoring jams last night. Most of the points were picked up little by little. But pouring through my notes, I notice that Squid Vicious scored the lion's share of Cherry City's points. She saw quite a bit of jammer time in the first half, and even more in the second half. In one of the rare high scoring jams of the evening (jam #30) Squid Vicious picked up 14 points to boost Cherry City to a 62 to 27 lead. Then Cherry City sent in Vavoom Vavette to pick up another 14 points in jam #31. Cherry City’s Curry Fury, Sybil Riots, and Skate Oddity also did an amazing job of jamming last night, and the second half saw Cherry City’s point lead steadily increase. After some minor confusion over the clock during the final jam, Cherry City stood victorious with a final score of 52 Rolling Stoners, 130 Cherry City.
So there you have it, RCR fans – your log awaited derby fix after the "dry spell". Tonight we see the new Heathers in action as they join the Breakneck Betties in a mixed roster bout against the Southern Oregon Roller Girls, followed by our champion High Rollers vs. Eugene’s Andromedolls. Also, there will be a special dedication to Bunny Lepowski. It all starts at 6:00 PM (doors open at 5:00 PM), so don’t be late!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Triple Header Weekend
Ah, I love it when there are two derby days in a row. After too long of a break from derby action, RCR fans finally have a chance to really get their fix this weekend! First off, on Friday we have the Rolling Stoners (mixed team of the High Rollers and the Guns 'n Rollers) vs. the Cherry City derby girls from Salem. I'm a Cherry City fan also, so it's going to be an interesting bout for me. The doors open at 7:00 PM, bout starts at 8:00 PM. So plan your pre-bout partying accordingly.
The next evening we have the Heartbreakers (mixed team of Heartless Heathers and the evil Breakneck Betties) vs. the Southern Oregon Rollergirls from Medford. This is going to be a great opportunity to get a look at our newly drafted Heathers, because the roster is heavily loaded with newbies. Then, in a second bout that evening, our champion High Rollers take on the Andromedolls from Eugene. I love the Andromedolls, and I love the High Rollers. Who am I going to root for? I don’t know! The doors open at 5:00 PM, bout starts at 6:00 PM, I'll probably be drunk by 6:15 PM.
There is also a rumor of a pick-up scrimmage at the hangar on Saturday from 11:00 AM – 2:00 PM ($5 admission). So if you're recovered from Friday’s afterparty early enough, you might want to check that out too and make it a "Quadruple Header Weekend"! See you there!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Drown Your Sorrows
Come watch the championships at Kay's and have a drink with your favorite WoJ team members this Sunday! There's nothing like drinking at noon. Like my father always said: boy, if you ain't drunk by noon, you just ain't tryin'.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Giving Windy City the Full Shniz
For anyone not in the know, I'll give you the back story. On Sept. 20th, 2008, my schedule allowed me to blow off the Rose City home bout and be in Chicago where the Windy City Rollers were facing the Kansas City Roller Warriors, the WFTDA Champions at the time. They pummeled the big bruisers from Kansas City for a 155/39 win. This experience spawned three key changes in my life; I became obsessed with the All Star/National level of the sport and travelling to see more, I wrote my first derbyesque blog post and I became a WCR fan.
That being said, when you combine my personal frustrations with the current WFTDA Divisional system, with that "BAD day in SucKro", I was not a Windy fan in the crowd. In fact during the Half Time break at the AoA bout, the night before, I told Nepalm Beth & Layla F#@king Smackdown to kick some Windy @$$. "Send a message. Our Number 4 can kick your Number 1's ass."
When that first whistle blew with Rhea Deranged on the line against Shocka Conduit and I was all about "Do it!".
Okay, so that jam yielded no points and was sort of a quick "feeling things out" kind of jam, but you could see that the magic was all in the pack. So when Soulfearic Acid took the lead in the next jam against Beth Amphetamine and hit for 14/1, Wheels had their first points on the board, the lead and some positive momentum. Cadillac's next five point jam just fed that momentum and Sully's 16 point jam that followed seemed to seal the deal. WoJ was sitting with a 30/1 lead and had every lead jammer after four jams which took us to the top of the jammer rotation. Rhea popped out of the pack quickly but was not the lead jammer. JK put a sweet hit on Windy's Shocka Conduit and despite being drawn into a game of chase, the WoJ pack tied her up for over a minute before she got the lead and called the jam. Even without lead status, Rhea stuck it for five and it was 35/2 WoJ.
The WoJ's blocking is what got them through the next few point drought jams. They limited Windy's jammers to small single digit jams, but Windy was also making some blocking adjustments that hampered the success of the "Wall of Justice" and the game seemed to be speeding up. The ninth jam and top of the rotation again had Rhea facing off against Shocka, who popped through in under 30 sec but did not have lead jammer and was able to make two passes before Rhea got out. No lead jammer and after two minutes it was a 13/4 jam for Shocka bringing the score to 39/18 WoJ. The game was definitely speeding up, the blocking became Wheels in a front wall and Windy in a back wall. The next several jams were quick hit, single digits jams and WoJ changed up rotation and maintained their lead. In the 15th jam with Sully and Athena DeCrime on the line, WoJ forced a slow start to kill time for Mangles who was serving time for her low block penalty when Smacks did an awesome job drawing a back block on Athena giving Sully a powerjam. Unfortunately, Windy did an awesome job of tieing Sully up for over a minute and it was 57/20 WoJ after 15 jams.
The next jam was a 3/3 jam between Rhea and Shocka with the score 60/23. It really marked a shift in play. The packs had been getting faster, more strung out and that really plays more towards Windy's style of play. Though WoJ would fail to put up points over the next four quick jams and fail to get lead, they did limit productivity. Jackie Daniels first jam of the night against Soulfearic Acid was Windy's biggest jam of that series and she hit for five bring it to 60/38 Wheels, at the half.
Windy left that first half with momentum and certainly did a good job of shifting the style of play to their comfort zone. They were hard fought quick blast jams. They were setting up in the rear and keeping the WoJ jammers from popping through. They were driving the bout even though they were down.
The second half started with WoJ down in the pack 2x4 and Rhea on the line against Shocka, who popped through and picked up 3. Soulfearic Acid followed in rotation, WoJ starting to feel penalties and still short in the pack as Beth Amphetamine popped through, quickly taking lead jammer. Beth stuck for five before being called out for Track Cut major, leaving Acid with a powerjam and a tough Windy pack.She did manage to even things up with 5/5 jam. Cadillac brought her "We're Not Going To Take It" attitude to the next jam, which began as a powerjam and for the first time in several jams, Windy was down in the pack 4on3. With some excellent blocking Cadi popped through on her initial pass quickly and despite Windy's jammer coming out of the box she managed a second full pass and another two passes to bring it to 72/46 Wheels. Sully was up next against Jackie Daniels and again the pack numbers were not on our side. Jackie got lead and racked up 7 as Sully struggled against the Windy blockers.
Back to the top of the jammer rotation, so Rhea was on the line against Shocka. Rhea made it through for lead and Shocka took a pummeling from the WoJ pack monsters. Rhea got two clean passes before a battered Shocka even cleared the pack for a 13/0 jam and 85/53 lead for Wheels. Again penalties took their toll with 2on4 pack for Sully against Windy's Ruth Enasia. Ruth got lead and a 12/0 run for Windy, bringing them back to a 20 point differential. Over the next several jams, Shocka, Jackie and Beth would hit for points for Windy while our heroes struggled. Ten jams into the second half, Windy had eroded the lead down to 10, then 7. It was 90/83 with about 12 minutes on the clock.
Rhea took the line against Jackie Daniels with a 2on4 pack. Windy elects to drop knee start for a no pack whistle. (STUPID is the note I have written down). Despite some monster Mobi blocking, Jackie made it through but with out lead jammer, only to then back block and hit the box. Rhea was finally through as Windy skated quicker and quicker, finally racking up three points. Soulfearic then faced Shocka, with a full compliment of blockers for both teams. Shocka came up quick on the Wall of Justice in the front as Acid struggled with the Windy back wall. That darned Smacks had this great push out block on Shocka which somehow became a major low block for Shocka. WoJ Powerjam! After Acid's first five points, Smacks got a Windy goat, turned around and did that things she does so well. Despite Shocka reentering the pack, Acid had maxed the powerjam out for a 19/0 jam. Wheels had regained a more commanding 112/83 lead.
Blood made her first jammer appearance next against Beth Amphetamine with a scant 2on2 pack and with a 15 second pop out time, she took lead jammer for our Wheels as Beth was called to the box and yes, Powerjam! With the 2on2 pack and a patient, calculating Blood Clottia with the star, she took her time to take Windy apart.
As blockers came out of the box, eventually WoJ had trapped a Windy blocker, stopping the pack long enough for even Chuck Norris or his superior to swallow these bitter words "That is why it is perplexing to me that a team of such seemingly inteligent (sic) and talented skaters would resort to such a demeaning tactic in order to win.". Mmm, a PiG never forgets.
Blood had gained 15 points and it was 127/83 Wheels of Justice with 2:30 left in the game. At this point, I had seen nothing from Windy that would over come that point gap with that kind of time. The next jam yielded 2 for Windy followed by a quick 0/0 jam. Now in last jam with Rhea and Shocka on the line. They would get a 4/4 jam bring it to 131/89 Wheels of Justice. (Until the point correction anyway...)
So there you go kids, our last big bout of the season.Not a perfect ending but the best we could hope for given the parameters. There is no shame in being 4th the Western division and though I will miss seeing my purple pals in Chicago this year, I can't think of a more fitting season ender. Not to sounds like my Cubs Fan friends, but there is always next year. Next year might just be the perfect storm, you can pitch in to help Rose City get a nice fresh track and who knows, maybe WooF ta-Duh will let us host Regionals.
If you can't wait, you can always check out Sicktown this weekend as they host Cherry City .
That being said, when you combine my personal frustrations with the current WFTDA Divisional system, with that "BAD day in SucKro", I was not a Windy fan in the crowd. In fact during the Half Time break at the AoA bout, the night before, I told Nepalm Beth & Layla F#@king Smackdown to kick some Windy @$$. "Send a message. Our Number 4 can kick your Number 1's ass."
When that first whistle blew with Rhea Deranged on the line against Shocka Conduit and I was all about "Do it!".
Okay, so that jam yielded no points and was sort of a quick "feeling things out" kind of jam, but you could see that the magic was all in the pack. So when Soulfearic Acid took the lead in the next jam against Beth Amphetamine and hit for 14/1, Wheels had their first points on the board, the lead and some positive momentum. Cadillac's next five point jam just fed that momentum and Sully's 16 point jam that followed seemed to seal the deal. WoJ was sitting with a 30/1 lead and had every lead jammer after four jams which took us to the top of the jammer rotation. Rhea popped out of the pack quickly but was not the lead jammer. JK put a sweet hit on Windy's Shocka Conduit and despite being drawn into a game of chase, the WoJ pack tied her up for over a minute before she got the lead and called the jam. Even without lead status, Rhea stuck it for five and it was 35/2 WoJ.
The WoJ's blocking is what got them through the next few point drought jams. They limited Windy's jammers to small single digit jams, but Windy was also making some blocking adjustments that hampered the success of the "Wall of Justice" and the game seemed to be speeding up. The ninth jam and top of the rotation again had Rhea facing off against Shocka, who popped through in under 30 sec but did not have lead jammer and was able to make two passes before Rhea got out. No lead jammer and after two minutes it was a 13/4 jam for Shocka bringing the score to 39/18 WoJ. The game was definitely speeding up, the blocking became Wheels in a front wall and Windy in a back wall. The next several jams were quick hit, single digits jams and WoJ changed up rotation and maintained their lead. In the 15th jam with Sully and Athena DeCrime on the line, WoJ forced a slow start to kill time for Mangles who was serving time for her low block penalty when Smacks did an awesome job drawing a back block on Athena giving Sully a powerjam. Unfortunately, Windy did an awesome job of tieing Sully up for over a minute and it was 57/20 WoJ after 15 jams.
The next jam was a 3/3 jam between Rhea and Shocka with the score 60/23. It really marked a shift in play. The packs had been getting faster, more strung out and that really plays more towards Windy's style of play. Though WoJ would fail to put up points over the next four quick jams and fail to get lead, they did limit productivity. Jackie Daniels first jam of the night against Soulfearic Acid was Windy's biggest jam of that series and she hit for five bring it to 60/38 Wheels, at the half.
Windy left that first half with momentum and certainly did a good job of shifting the style of play to their comfort zone. They were hard fought quick blast jams. They were setting up in the rear and keeping the WoJ jammers from popping through. They were driving the bout even though they were down.
The second half started with WoJ down in the pack 2x4 and Rhea on the line against Shocka, who popped through and picked up 3. Soulfearic Acid followed in rotation, WoJ starting to feel penalties and still short in the pack as Beth Amphetamine popped through, quickly taking lead jammer. Beth stuck for five before being called out for Track Cut major, leaving Acid with a powerjam and a tough Windy pack.She did manage to even things up with 5/5 jam. Cadillac brought her "We're Not Going To Take It" attitude to the next jam, which began as a powerjam and for the first time in several jams, Windy was down in the pack 4on3. With some excellent blocking Cadi popped through on her initial pass quickly and despite Windy's jammer coming out of the box she managed a second full pass and another two passes to bring it to 72/46 Wheels. Sully was up next against Jackie Daniels and again the pack numbers were not on our side. Jackie got lead and racked up 7 as Sully struggled against the Windy blockers.
Back to the top of the jammer rotation, so Rhea was on the line against Shocka. Rhea made it through for lead and Shocka took a pummeling from the WoJ pack monsters. Rhea got two clean passes before a battered Shocka even cleared the pack for a 13/0 jam and 85/53 lead for Wheels. Again penalties took their toll with 2on4 pack for Sully against Windy's Ruth Enasia. Ruth got lead and a 12/0 run for Windy, bringing them back to a 20 point differential. Over the next several jams, Shocka, Jackie and Beth would hit for points for Windy while our heroes struggled. Ten jams into the second half, Windy had eroded the lead down to 10, then 7. It was 90/83 with about 12 minutes on the clock.
Rhea took the line against Jackie Daniels with a 2on4 pack. Windy elects to drop knee start for a no pack whistle. (STUPID is the note I have written down). Despite some monster Mobi blocking, Jackie made it through but with out lead jammer, only to then back block and hit the box. Rhea was finally through as Windy skated quicker and quicker, finally racking up three points. Soulfearic then faced Shocka, with a full compliment of blockers for both teams. Shocka came up quick on the Wall of Justice in the front as Acid struggled with the Windy back wall. That darned Smacks had this great push out block on Shocka which somehow became a major low block for Shocka. WoJ Powerjam! After Acid's first five points, Smacks got a Windy goat, turned around and did that things she does so well. Despite Shocka reentering the pack, Acid had maxed the powerjam out for a 19/0 jam. Wheels had regained a more commanding 112/83 lead.
Blood made her first jammer appearance next against Beth Amphetamine with a scant 2on2 pack and with a 15 second pop out time, she took lead jammer for our Wheels as Beth was called to the box and yes, Powerjam! With the 2on2 pack and a patient, calculating Blood Clottia with the star, she took her time to take Windy apart.
As blockers came out of the box, eventually WoJ had trapped a Windy blocker, stopping the pack long enough for even Chuck Norris or his superior to swallow these bitter words "That is why it is perplexing to me that a team of such seemingly inteligent (sic) and talented skaters would resort to such a demeaning tactic in order to win.". Mmm, a PiG never forgets.
Blood had gained 15 points and it was 127/83 Wheels of Justice with 2:30 left in the game. At this point, I had seen nothing from Windy that would over come that point gap with that kind of time. The next jam yielded 2 for Windy followed by a quick 0/0 jam. Now in last jam with Rhea and Shocka on the line. They would get a 4/4 jam bring it to 131/89 Wheels of Justice. (Until the point correction anyway...)
So there you go kids, our last big bout of the season.Not a perfect ending but the best we could hope for given the parameters. There is no shame in being 4th the Western division and though I will miss seeing my purple pals in Chicago this year, I can't think of a more fitting season ender. Not to sounds like my Cubs Fan friends, but there is always next year. Next year might just be the perfect storm, you can pitch in to help Rose City get a nice fresh track and who knows, maybe WooF ta-Duh will let us host Regionals.
If you can't wait, you can always check out Sicktown this weekend as they host Cherry City .
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Viagrra’s Last Stand
Last night the Axles of Annihilation took on the Slaughter County Roller Vixens in a hard fought bout. I was glad to be in attendance not only because it turned out to be a great bout, but it was also Viagrra Falls’ last time skating for RCR. She is one of the stalwarts of the league and will be sorely missed!
The first jam saw Minstrel Psycho get lead jammer status and three points, but Slaughter County’s jammer managed to slip through and even the score 3 to 3 right off the bat. By jam #3 Slaughter County had a 12 to 3 point lead. Minstrel Psycho, Twat Rocket, and Viagrra did a tight job of jamming, and by jam #9 the Axles saw their first point lead of the bout. That lead changed three jams later when Minstrel Psycho was sent to the penalty box, giving Slaughter County a power jam and a one point lead. The Axles fought back by adding Texine and White Flight in the jammer rotation. At halftime the Axles held a 73 to 56 point lead.
The second half started off with some stellar jamming from Twat Rocket, Viagrra Falls, and White Flight. The sixth jam of the second half saw a power jam opportunity for Viagrra, which gave the Axles a 95 to 80 point lead. But that lead was erased in the next jam when Twat was sent to the box and On’da Sligh evened the score 95 to 95. Slaughter County’s On’da Sligh was unstoppable! I swear that she literally floats through the air to get around the pack! There were four more nail-biting lead changes, but in the end Slaughter County gave the Axles their first defeat of the year with a final score of Slaughter County 137 to Axles 126.
All in all, it was a good, clean bout with few timeouts, good reffing, and not many skaters in the penalty box. In the end, we may have lost the bout, but we won the after party! (and the after-after party…ouch my head is still pounding!)
Tonight we have the Wheels of Justice taking on Windy City at 6:00 PM. Doors open at 5:00 PM, so get there early to get your seat. Just make sure you save JeLLyPiG a seat with a clear view of the track because I love reading his Windy City bout recaps!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Viaggra Falls Rolls On
Viaggra Falls has announced she's leaving roller derby. She will be ending a great career with Friday's match-up between the Axles of Annihilation and the Slaughter County Roller Vixens.
"It's kinda surreal, I'm trying not to think 'omg! what am I gonna do besides Derby!' (ok maybe I'm thinking that ;-}) I will be still sticking around to help coach or run practices for the Heathers, may even help out Freshies or Wreckers," she wrote in a message this morning.
"I am looking forward to having some time surfing more before it gets really crappy, snowboarding, hanging with my pets, my 'other friends' (Im surprised they are still around ;-}). Oh, and my friend has been trying to get me into motocross (we will see how that goes).
I am starting off my 'retirement' and traveling for a month starting in December into January. Going to Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam! So excited!"
A Heather since 2006, Viaggra developed into a prized jammer as well as a stalwart in the pack and a great derby personality, both on the Heathers and with the Axles. Last year she spoke about her derby history and other aspects of her life in this CI profile.
I cop to being a bit choked up typing this. As mentioned in last year's profile, Viaggra Falls was the first person I ever associated with Portland roller derby, and I have long considered her an iconic Heather. I salute her and reiterate that I will miss seeing her on the track.
Heathers Por Vida!
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