'09 Readers Poll Results

Again, I want to thank everyone that took the time to submit their choices in the Coroner's Inquest 09 Readers Poll. I appreciated your comments along with your votes. Especially those that acknowledged that, though we root for different teams during the Intra League season, we are a small community of dedicated Skaters, Volunteers and Fans that share a passion for this sport. It felt good to know that whoever your team is, you realize that this blog is not just a single team hype machine. I like to think my contribution is Roller Derby first with a Rose City focus, from a Heartless point of view.

As in any vote in America, this was not without its "Hanging Chads". In this case there were some single name emails and tricksters that tried to sneak in a second choice with a forward slash. I logged 19 complete votes (and the first name you selected got the slot)

The number one comment was how hard a task it was to vote for "just one". I couldn't agree more, and as I logged your votes I had flashbacks of some brilliant plays when seeing the players names. Hell, I even questioned my own votes as a result of reading yours. Really, that's the point. This was not just about crowning a few players "best in show", but more importantly acknowledging all the players on the list that captured the imagination of those that took the time to vote.

Here is how it shook out (listed in no particular order):

Breakneak Betties: Blocker

L33t Speaking Missile

MaRollin' Monroe

Scrappy Go Lucky

Chest-Nutz

Cadillac

Scrappy Go Lucky won with a little more than a third of the vote. MaRollin' rolled in at a close second.

Breakneck Betties: Jammer

Chest-Nutz

Cadillac

Rhea DeRange

Licker*n*Split

Rhea DeRange barely beat out Licker*n*Split with almost half the votes.

GnR: Blocker

Napalm Beth

A Wrench

Smack Ya Sideways

Hard Knox

Rocket Mean

Smacks edged out Napalm with a third of the votes to win.

GnR: Jammer

Blood Clottia

Mercyful Kate

Aurora Brutalis

Punchkin

Blood Clottia was a clear winner with over 2/3rd of the votes and the most votes any one skater received in the whole poll.

High Rollers: Blocker

Mercyful Kate

Bust'her Spine

Hurricane Skatrina

Intensive Scare

JK Rolling

Layla Smackdown

Bumps

Minstrel Psycho

Layla and Skatrina tie it up! As you can imagine from the lengthy list, the vote was widely dispersed and this is the only race with no clear winner. It might actually be a statement about the HRMF's diverse talent pool.

High Rollers: Jammer

Bunny Lepowski

Sully Skullkicker

White Flight

Wreck Deckard

White Flight took this one, but the much loved Bunny Lepowki was a close second in the polling.

Heartless Heathers: Blocker

Sol Train

Izabell Ringer

Mick U Cry

Titania

Mobi-wan-kanobi

Sol Train edged out Mick by one vote to take honors here. I guess you could say "The Bottoms Topped the List"

Heartless Heathers: Jammer

Scratcher in the Eye

Izabell Ringer

Sump Pump

Sol Train

Scratcher clearly had the hearts & minds with Ringer coming in second in this group.

RCR Overall: Blocker

Sol Train

Izabell Ringer

Hurricane Skatrina

Smack Ya Sideways

Mick U Cry

Napalm Beth

Mobi-wan-kanobi

Mega Hurtz

Marollin' Monroe

Sol Train's six, the same points she had in the Team Category, gave her the win here. Hurricane Skatrina was actually a close number two on this list.

RCR Overall: Jammer

Izabell Ringer

Rhea DeRange

Blood Clottia

Sol Train

White Flight

Wreck Deckard

Cadillac

Licker*n*Split

Scratcher In the Eye

Rhea DeRange takes it with almost a third of the votes, followed by Blood and Whitey.

So there are the results for '09. I can only imagine how this list will change and grow in '10. We'll see you January 16th for the Season 5 opener at the Expo Center. Until then, Stay Frosty Cadaver or not.

Draftees

As we've seen, the Heathers already have a full, quite impressive roster, so they didn't nab anybody in last night's draft.

Other teams did, though.

The Betties pulled DeeDeeMonic, Mad Splatter, and Push La Tush.

The newest High Rollers are Skool Girl Crusher and Texine.

And the Guns 'n' Rollers took Harriet The Sly, Micro Bruiser, and, wait for it, Cadillac.

I know, huh. Somewhat reminiscent of Blood Clottia's league-rebalancing move of a few years back.

Anyway, congratulations to all, and thanks to Skatiekat and RCRBetties for all the newsy Tweets. And kudos to the Betties' tweeter (Scrappy?) for use of the Oxford comma.

George and the Mad Splatter (No Longer Fresh Meat!)

No More Callers Please...We Have a Winner

First and foremost, Thank YOU to everyone that took the time to enter our little RCR Year End poll. I had hoped the allure of possibly winning something would have brought out a bigger crowd, but on the plus side the shy turn out meant better odds in the drawing for the Blood on The Flat Track Dvd. The poll results will have to wait until next week, but just in time for Xmas we've pulled a winner.

Each email was assigned a number, numbered tickets were mixed in my Jammer tuque and the winning ticket pulled by the non biased hands of Mrs. PiG.

Our Reader Poll Winner is...

F- Bomb

"We'll send our Xmas courier right out with your prize"

For those of you that didn't win and are in the need of a derby fix to get through the Holiday...there's an app for that.

2010 Axles of Annihilation

Quite the day for RCR announcements. Your 2010 Axles of Annihilation, via AOA's Facebook fan page:

The new roster was decided on 12/20/09. Congrats, ladies!

Barbahella
Domesticated Violence
Fire Crotch
French Tickler
Goodie Two Skates
Heidi Go Seek
Honey hellfire
Minstrel Psycho
Monacle Debacle
Monroe
Punchkin
Ringer
Shove me Tender
Soulferic Acid
Viagrrra Falls

Another helluva team.

2010 Wheels of Justice Roster

Via RCR All-Stars on Facebook, the just-announced roster:

Axl Blows
Blood Clottia
Cadillac
Chest-nutZ *
Hurricane Skatrina
J.K. Rolling
Layla Smackdown
Licker ‘n’ Split
Mercyful Kate *
Mick U Cry
Mel Mangles *
Mobi-wan-kanobi
Napalm Beth *
Rhea Derange
Scrappy Go Lucky *
Scratcher in the Eye
Smack Ya Sideways *
Sully Skullkicker
White Flight
Wreck Deckard *

No longer with us:

Angry Wrench (retired/injured)
Madame Bumps A Lot (retired from WoJ)
Megahurtz (retired)
Leet Speaking Missile (retired from WoJ)
Sol Train (retired from WoJ)

Well, all right, then. Congratulations to them.

2010 Heartless Heathers

This is the list as it now stands:

Butcher Block
D Day
Fire Crotch
F Bomb
French Tickler
Goodie Two Skates
hArm Candy
Knotty La Rue
Monacle Debacle
Mobi Wan Kenobi
Mick U Cry
Ringer
Ruby Bruiseday
She Rex
Sol Train
Scratcher in the Eye
Skintastic Dynomite
Titania
Viagrrra Falls

I look at that list and cannot suppress the "wow." That is a roster of immensely impressive skaters.

2010 will likely be a great year for Heathers and Cadavers. Those season tickets you want for Christmas can be found here.



Photo by Sharkey.

It's all about the Derby Love this Holiday Season...

Here's a chance to show some derby love. I ended up with a spare sealed copy of the Blood on the Flat Track DVD. This is the Canadian version, released in the Great White North in October...the States won't see this in the store for a couple more months. The idea is a simple one, a popularity contest of sorts or for those of you willing to be honest, a chance to show some respect to the players you love and for you a chance to win a copy of this "RiZe of the RaTz" DvD.

Via email, submit your favourite Pack Monster and Jammer from each RCR team, along with an overall favourite from the league for each category. I will compile the list, tally the votes and we'll all see who has the love. For the players, it's some much deserved props. For you the voter, if you follow the rules...a chance to possibly be the second RCR fan to own the DVD. The voting is open to anyone (Fans, Skaters, Volunteers, Beer Mavens and the like), but only one entry per person please.

email to:

jellypigrcdd@yahoo.com

Heartless Heathers

Blocker:

Jammer:

High Roller$

Blocker:

Jammer

GnR

Blocker:

Jammer

Breakneck Betties

Blocker:

Jammer

RCR Overall Choice

Blocker:

Jammer:

All submissions must be received by December 21st. Please DO NOT post choices in the comments section but feel free to talk shit about the track barriers.The drawing will be conducted by a Third party Civilian and the winners "name" will be published here. Once the drawing is completed and the drawing winner has been notified, all email addresses will be erased. PiG Inc Associates are eligible to vote but are ineligible for the drawing.

(Skrew DNN! We got a PRiZe!)

PiG BiTs & A-o-Eh?

We all knew it was only a matter of time before I chirped off and blogged some crap. Don't believe the rumors that I have been sitting in the corner crying after watching my chosen WCR fall apart at Nationals. I actually needed at least two of my four remaining brain cells to sober up enough to say something other than "Another round please...".

Yes, being at Nationals was a blast and I would like to thank all the Rose City Irregulars for letting me tag along during the event. It was a learning experience and just plain fun to watch derby with some of my favorite derby people. Since WFTDA has announced the 2010 tournament schedule, I would encourage anyone that loves the sport to make plans to be in the lovely WIndy City next November.

Blogging about the F@#k off long line on day one, the annoyance of "Derby Standard Time" and the $5 cans of PBR (which gives you 7/8th of a cup once poured) would really be bitchy and self serving. I won't go there, I'm better than that. Philly was really a great host, though I would say Rose City rocked it better in '08 (in my not so humble opinion).

Nationals was not the twelve best teams in WFTDA battling it out. It was the Top 3 in each division and all divisions are not created equal. At times it felt like the West versus the rest, In the end, three of the top four spots belonged to the Western division.

The two big topics in the smokers pit during the event were "The Stop Game" and "How Oly Changes Everything", both of which are standard reading on all the other derby blogs. I'll try to not labor on these too long...

The Stop Game: Haven't we already had this discussion? Yes, almost everyone at Nationals did it or attempted it. NO, it doesn't get you past good teams that know exactly what to do. This was a huge part of Denver's game plan and also favored by RMRG. Philly took sometime to figure it out and almost pulled out of an upset against RMRG. Windy elected to bash their way out of it, which created costly penalty situations they could not pull out of, against Denver. But Oly and Texas knew what to do and powered their way passed it. It's safe to say it can only get you so far.

In the aftermath, most of the roller derby discussion groups I troll are yapping about how the rules committee will be making changes. Of course no one has said "Wasn't it a rule change that made this strategy possible?", "Do you think a COMMITTEE is capable of plugging the hole without making a new one?". Maybe it's just the cynic in me that prefers the devil he knows over the new one that will be created. Frankly, I enjoy watching the smart teams juke right out of the Stop Game over a mindless game of chase.

(This post sat in Drafts for a few days...WFTDA has released some changes to the rules sans numerical coding so we can't "hate a number". I haven't read them yet, but suspect more might be coming in '10)

OLY: YES, they do change things. You don't have to like it, but you damn sure better accept it. They make National play more sport than show, and though they skate like monsters, they will NEVER win the after party.

All sports have various division of skills, minor leagues feed major leagues. Minor league games tend to be more entertainment. Major league games with arguably greater skills but tend to be full of Prima Donna's and Corporate coercion. So Oly, the Roller Derby Queens of Product Placement and a group of damn nice players, bring a new evolution to the sport of roller derby. They bring some different skill sets into a familiar format and do it better than anyone else. I do think they have a couple years of domination in them and they are an amazing team to watch.

Guess what? It's not done evolving! We have just begun to see the influences of small town leagues, their players and the Junior leagues and their players, further changing the game.

Say you are some leg whipping hot shot in a little league that is not WFTDA but within driving distance to a ranked league like...say, Rose City. If you decided that you wanted more from your "pay to play" derby career, wouldn't you think seriously about making that commute and joining that league? Wouldn't expanding the talent pool impact the game? Now how many leagues do you think are within a reasonable driving distance? Can you not see the impact the I-5 leagues can have on us?

Down the road, imagine what a Bud could do? Maybe a Braidy Punch, Elektra Cute or Heff'her Up? If their bodies survive the abuse and they reach the tender age of 21, still skating. Just think about what the years of experience and developed skills will bring...Damn that will change the game!

Now realize this scenario is playing out all over the country. Everything will change again. The Flat Track rEvolution has only just begun...

Based on some "victim" comments I saw in another venue, it is safe to say there are some local derby fans that won't have the stomach for the National game as it evolves. They will always have, the always entertaining Intra League bouts to watch. They just don't realize that even that has changed...single bouts, less pomp more sport and the sweet, sweet Hangar. I think we are slowly being conditioned to expect sport over show....but what do I know?

Actually, I know what I know. I know I am starting to Jones for some Pack Monster Mash and some Jammer on Jammer action. AoA to the rescue!

That's right derby fans, AoA versus Terminal City this Saturday! More proof that Season Tickets are a hella wicked good deal. I just can't wait! Though I have seen the Terminal City players skate on the Intra League teams this is my first chance to see their All Star Squad. From what I remember of the Terminal City '09 City Championships; they have some great skaters, smart coaching and some big ol'bruisers too. Of course seeing them stack up against the brutal AoA squad is a perfect way to end the '09 season. It's Derby Night in the Rose City, eh? (cue theme song)

The Docket

Here's the doin's:

Friday, Dec. 4, 2009: G'n'R v. I-5 All Stars Exhibition. Your $5 donation at the Oaks Park Hangar door is much appreciated. They're selling beer there, too, but bring your own pork rinds and Slim Jims. Doors at 7. Skating at 8.

Saturday, Dec. 5, 2009: The very next night in the very same place: the Axles of Annihilation square off against Vancouver, BC's Terminal City Roller Girls. Buy yourself some tickets. Doors at 5, bout at 6.

Here's a quick calendar of Season Five Intraleague bouts:

1/16 Opening Tournament
2/13 High Rollers vs. Guns n Rollers
2/20 Betties vs Heathers
3/13 High Rollers vs. Heathers
3/27 Betties vs. Guns n Rollers
4/10 Heathers vs. Guns n Rollers
4/17 Betties vs. High Rollers
6/4+5 Semifinals
6/19 Championships

Thank you for that, Rose City Rollers. You are humble and lovable. And there are two bouts for my birthday weekend! You like me, you really like me!

Oh, say, here's a trailer for Brutal Beauty, the Chip Mabry documentary about RCR that premiers January 9 at the Hollywood Theater. Trailer could use a bit more blue, by my lights, but the movie looks good. Looking foward to seeing it.

Brutal Beauty - Tales of the Rose City Rollers (Trailer) from Benjamin Meader on Vimeo.