Thursday, September 3, 2009

You lookin for Derby?

We wouldn't want the blog to get old, stale and crusty, would we George? So here are some derby-centric ways to spend your free time and hard earned cash. I always assume everyone gets all the emails and tweets from the RCR league, but just in case you don't here's some groovy roller derby happenings, seasoned with my usual sputum.

Rose City at State Fair Scrimmages

Monday, Sept. 7th 1pm & 6pm in Salem, OR

The Cherry City Derby Girls have invited RCR down to the fair for TWO multi-league scrimmages during theOregon State Fair

This should be a fun one and a great glimpse at some of the talent pool coming out of what I lovingly call the Oregon section of the I-5 Derby Highway. Cherry City of Salem is the hosting league and they are a month away from their first bout (Oct 10th?) You'll also get to see some Sicktown skaters from Albany/Corvallis, Emerald City from Eugene should have a fierce bunch there and who knows how many Rose City regulars you"ll get to see. But wait, there's more! Go check it out for yourself, even if they aren't ALL from the I-5 corridor. The scrimmages are always a fun time and add in the joy of a State Fair Corndog and livestock...I think this qualifies as a "Hoot"!

Mens Roller Derby

Friday, Sept. 18th 8pm at Oaks Hangar

The Rose City Rollers (RCR) will be hosting an open scrimmage to all men of the Northwest Region. Spectators, come experience the excitement as Merby debuts on the RCR track Sept 18th in the Hangar at Oaks Park.

MERBY? Seriously? Here? Yes, Rose City is hosting a dangler event. Being an opinionated a-hole, I will limit my comments in the best interest of the common derby good. "They say" if you're a true derby fan, you'll want to go see this, if only to point and laugh at the silly boys with all the derby girls in the stands.

Skating with Scissors

Saturday, Sept. 19th from 10am - 7pm atOaks Hangar

The Rose City Rollers are excited to host a spectacular arts & crafts bazaar, "Skating with Scissors". It's open to the public and includes free admission. Derby girls, friends, and fans can shop for skate-themed/rock 'n' roll/alternative handmade jewelry, fashion, and other unique items, many made by RCR derby girls. The Rose CityRollers Cookbook is also making its debut. With recipe titles like Protein Punch(kin), Bettie Spaghetti, and Vegan Whack N Chz, these are dishes worth hitting for.

At first I thought this was some sort of "FUTURE DERBY" but now that I read about it, it sounds almost as fun.

Rosebuds Sugar High Showdown

Sunday, Sept. 20th 1pm at Oaks Hangar

Be there to watch these young athletic 'buds in action. They will be hitting, skating, and knocking girls around!

If you have not seen the Buds play you owe it to yourself. They are great to watch, it's fun and they are our future. As usual the bout info I have thus far is a little sketch, but the bouts always end up being a hella good derby time.

And all this leads us to....

Wheels of Justice at Western Regionals

Sun - Fri, Oct. 2nd - 4th in Denver, CO

The Rose City Rollers'Wheels of Justice All-Star travel team has been invited to the 2009 WFTDA Western Regional tournament - Derby on the Rocks! WOJ will compete for the top spot in the 10-team tournament in order to advance to the 2009 WFTDA National Championships. For more information regarding regionals/nationals

And speaking of's some blah, blah, blah about their last outing... (I'm working on my segways)

As you might imagine, any recap of the stellar WoJ victory over Duke City would've been extra rambly (given the long day of sun, fun and double derby love'n I had that Saturday). It was a great match up, though not a tight scoring bout. WoJ took an early and commanding lead, and with the exception of a few short bursts of cunning on Duke City's part, it was easy to sit back, cheer, kill beers and talk shit with your neighbors in the stands.

Based on the Carolina and Duke City bouts, I think that the Wheels of Justice should be renamed the "Wall of Justice". Having seen both those bouts, the concise game plan of playing tough defense seems to not only work, but work very well. In both of those bouts the WoJ pack didn't just limit the productivity of the opposing Jammer, but shut them down completely, consistently. Combine that with a plathora of Jammer talent on the WoJ bench and you have quite the derby force. Of course as I told my neighboring derby fan at the Duke City bout "it would mean a hell of a lot more if they were doing this on the road".

We also talked about the Duke City bout having no real ramification on WFTDA rankings in the stands that night. Since tournament seeding is completed and yes, WoJ has the best seed of the bunch with the number three position, whether they won or lost to Duke City, their seed was sown.
And what about our Heartless All Stars you ask?

Scratcher...well she makes me laugh. She's hammering it out in regular Jammer rotation on a WoJ team that has great depth in the Jammer spot. Against Duke City she was definitely productive and playing that heads up, tough, scrapping style you expect to see from her. Much like the Heathers of the recent past, she is tough but having fun out there and you can see it in her eyes. It's a joy to watch.

Sol Train is Sol Train and she does that Sol Train thing she does. To quote my daughter "The most feared thing on the Rose City track is Sol Train's ass", out of the mouths of babes or teenagers as the case may be. Honestly, Sol plays so smart, is seasoned and has an even keeled perseverance that she really is an icon in the RCR league.

Then there's our Mick U Cry. If you have not seen her play on WoJ, then you've missed some of the best bouts she's skated in her career here. Seriously. I was completely impressed by the level of her play against Carolina, but even more so watching her skate against Duke City. She just seems to be getting better and better which I hope translates into a Heathers pack that is damn near impossible to get through next year.

And Mobi-wan-kanobi...sweet, sweet M
ōbs. She also turned in an awesome bout. Tough and hard hitting, she laid some traps then laid out the opposition. There was one block that the derby afficionados seated next me thought might have been a late hit. They invited me into the conversation and my response was "She engaged before the whistle and a girl gots to finish her blocks". Frankly it was a beautiful "Not in My House" dominance move on Mōb's part and I didn't see a foul called.

Seeing them all skate on WoJ, working in a clockwork like fashion, communicating and honing their skills further will only help the Heathers cause come 2010 season.

Now this is a Heartless Heathers blog, so I am in no way trying to slight the play of:Angry Wrench, Megahurtz, Axl Blows, Blood Clottia, Cadillac, D. Konstructor, Firecrotch
<---?, Gwen'nich Mean Time, Hurricane Skatrina, Layla Smackdown, Leet Speaking Missle, Licker 'n' Split, Madame Bumps A Lot, MaRollin' Monroe, Rhea Derange, White Flight (Yes, I did the roster copy and paste so not to miss anyone. ?=Sorry FC,I know who you play for I swear.)

These are "Who's Who" of players in the Rose City league and collectively, because it is a team sport, they have played fabulously at home and most importantly won a tough one, as a "team", on the road. This could be the best WoJ team assembled to date, add some derby voo doo with Rob Lobster on the bench you have one tough team going into Regionals.

So next is Denver and what we hope will lead to a National spot. I would hate to be sitting in my Rose City Rollers shirt in Philly, looking all drunk and heartbroken while rooting for Windy City again.

Speaking of my love for Windy City...I'll save that for after Regionals.

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George said...

Thank you for the update, JeLLyPiG! I was just about to rattle your cage and demand more blog updates, but you beat me to it.

"The most feared thing on the Rose City track is Sol Train's ass."

Well, I don’t know if “fear” is the proper term for what I feel about Sol Train’s ass, but I get your daughter’s point. Smart girl.

You are so right, there is a lot of derby these next couple of months. I already have my tickets to Western Regionals to go watch Sol Train's ass! I'm so freakin' excited for Denver. I can't wait! I'm even gonna try to squeeze in that trip to the Windy City between Regionals and Nationals. This is gonna be a good year for George!

Does anybody know anything about the Pacific Northwest Tournament at the hangar October 23rd through October 25th that is listed on the RCR webpage?

Miss Conduct PDX said...

"Now this is a Heathers blog, so I am in no way..."

Last time I checked, Firecrotch was still a Heather!

Unknown said...

I'm working on a PacNW derby calendar in google. Ping me for details.

JeLLyPiG said...

Miss Conduct; What would one of my rambling manifesto style blogs be without all the errors? Thanks for the catch...I feel schmucky about it.

FC,I apologize for the oversight. You are not really forgotten. Hell I miss seeing you in the pack so much, I have had to block it from my mind just to cope with day to day living.

George; I won't say anymore about Sol's ass, because I am a happily married man and...Sol Train could kick MY ass.

I was sitting by Mean at the Duke bout and she said they were still working through the details on the PNW Tourney. It's awful close to Nationals, so if a team had secured a spot with ONLY two wins in Denver, it might be risky to play those players.

I'm sure we'll know more by Chicago.

George said...

JeLLyPiG, Please do NOT stop talking about Sol Train’s ass! I think that the whole world should discuss how great her ass is! And feel free to post pictures, too!

Noz said...

Roll CALL! Whose going to Denver!!!?
Oi! Oi! Two at the Ringer household

George said...

I'm going to Denver! Leaving Thursday morning. Kanna and I are on Frontier flight 794 leaving at 8:55 AM, and I can't wait!

JeLLyPiG said...

I drew the short straw and am stuck with a Fabulous Sin City intra league bout the weekend of Western Regionals. I am in for Philly and Chicago.

Noz said...

Flight, 794, table for 4 please!